There is frustration and anger mothers face for the constant stream of extras we deal with that others typically do not. It forms a constant energy drain that becomes the foundation of our functionality, and at some point, all of us rage at the unfairness of the situation. This episode follows those feels and what we can do to honor the struggle.
Episode Highlights
00:25 I had the thought, if my kid finally goes to school, I’ll finally be able to work!
01:00 You can see the disparity in who we expect to attend to children by looking at the statistics of who gets laid off, fired, or not hired.
01:40 There’s a problem when the system is such that if schools don’t or can’t open, then parents can’t work.
02:20 We recognize now more than ever that we can’t function if we don’t have people and the support structure of community in our lives.
02:53 Having to support a family as just one or two parents alone is crushing, and yet it’s what we’ve asked of our adults today.
03:00 The task of raising a human child to grow into a functional, loving, kind, and productive adult cannot be the work of just one person alone.
03:20 Moms are worried about the wellbeing of everyone in our family, but we put ourselves last on that plate if we even put ourselves on it at all. We are the plate.
04:01 If you had to hire someone or several someones to cover all the work moms do, it would cost a fortune. But because we don’t pay moms for their service or work, we treat it as if it’s not very valuable.
04:30 Don’t ever say to me, “it must be so nice to be a woman of leisure,” when I tell you I am a stay-at-home mom. It’s not leisurely. And you know what? It’s often not so nice, either.
04:50 Have you ever suppressed your murderous rage because you kind of believed the argument that your efforts aren’t enough?
05:40 How do you win when there are no rules in place or the rules keep changing based on the day and who’s asking?
06:50 How is it that I’m doing the best I can, and rather than being appreciated for it, you’re telling me I am failing, and you demand even MORE?
07:30 It’s the frustration of your position being treated as a privilege that’s going to get taken away if you don’t fall in line, but there’s no way you can stand in the line because there are at least seven lines.
08:40 Right now there is an unacceptable amount of stress to just existing that compounds the "usual" unwelcome stresses of existing. Thanks, pandemic!
10:15 The anger is that not only can I not make a dent in this in any meaningful way, but I’m also going to be told it isn’t a problem, as if my pain doesn’t exist because it doesn’t exist for you, or it makes it uncomfortable for you to acknowledge there’s a problem.
11:30 We’ve been cut off from support for so long we feel like we are weak or failing if we reach out and ask for the bare minimum of help and support we need to function.
12:00 We can’t be asked to do 1,000,000 jobs and not even get a, “wow, I see what you’re doing,” without feeling like we’re going to implode.
12:15 The remedy is making meaning for our struggle by fighting for what’s right, raising our kids to expect more, and celebrating every single small win along the way.
13:30 I want for my daughter to grow up and have people value the work she does and for her to not feel like it’s all ju
Welcome to the full Spectrum Feeling Podcast. I'm your host, Blaze Schwaller, life coach and former tattoo artist. I help people heal their past, speak their truth to those they love, and learn how to feel ALL their emotions, so that they can live lives they love no matter what comes up. Join me here every week for conversations on how to live an imperfect but fully engaged life that embraces all the feels, so you can stretch into your best life while enjoying the you that's here now.