CrabDiving – Wed 032923 – Manhattan Trump Grand Jury Is Taking A Month Off

Published: March 30, 2023, 3:31 a.m.

The Manhattan Trump Grand Jury is taking a month off. Wife of SCOTUS, Ginni Thomas crowdsourced anonymous donations to fund a coup. Senator Bernie Sanders blasted Starbucks Czar Howard Schultz for illegal anti-union activity. Pope Francis was put in hospital. The Crabs reviewed a trove of emails from FOX execs warning that fact-checking Shitler is bad for business. President Biden encouraged Netanyahu to chillax and walk away from his fascist shenanigans. Capitalist fetishist Macron held an emergency meeting regarding recent protests over a raising of the retirement age. Christian nationalist load-a-saurus Lance Wallnau reported that Kari Lake, Michael Flynn, and Eric Trump will star in the craptastic "Holy Ghost Fire & Glory Tour." Right-wing nut-job walrus Stew Peters caterwauled that Uganda's anti-LGBTG legislation was "100 percent awesome."