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(Roger Fisher and William Ury) You can change the game. You start by changing your attitude. Separate the people from the problem. Attack the problem and never the people. Focus on interests, not on positions. Invent options that benefit both sides. What is your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement, your BATNA? (Dr. Norman Vincent Peale) Always play with abandon. The next time you're faced with a problem, try a new approach. Make up your mind to win and nothing else. It is always too soon to quit. All the resources you need are in your mind. Failure comes most often to people who are unable to focus themselves. We tend to become precisely like that which we habitually imagine ourselves to be. … (Robert M. Bramson) Do not automatically respond by trying to solve difficult people's problems. Do not automatically agree with difficult people even if you think they are right. Never argue with difficult people. Always feed back the difficult person's main points before you do anything else. (Hermine Hilton) Remember people's names and what they tell you. Remember what you are doing, what you are supposed to do, what you have and have not done. Be sure what you want to remember is collected and connected. Link what you do not know to what you do know. (Dave Winter) Do you always follow through on promises? Do you get back with people who are trying to get in touch with you? Do you communicate a sincere interest in the person with whom you are communicating, even if he or she is boring or difficult? Do you give the person the impression that you want to help? Do you take the initiative to find a way to help, a way to say yes? People do not want to know what you cannot do for them; they want to know what you can do for them. Clear communication is your responsibility, not the other person's. You cannot listen and talk at the same time. (Peter F. Drucker) It is your vision or its absence that shapes your future. Assignments change all the time and unpredictably, although the job may not change. You cannot build performance on weaknesses; you can only build it on strengths. The things you did to get a promotion are not the things you need to do now. The ultimate test of success is success. (Zig Ziglar) If you don't think you deserve success, you will do things to keep you from getting it. It is not the lack of time that is the problem, it is the lack of direction. How can you reach a goal you do not have? You will get everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want. You cannot reach someone else's goal. In order for a goal to be effective, it must affect change. You go as far as you can see; and when you get there, you always will be able to see further. People who wait for an external change before they make an internal decision will get cooked in the squat, never succeed. Just because you are running doesn't mean you have to like it. Stinking thinking leads to hardening of the attitudes. You can only start from where you are with what you've got. You don't climb the high mountain by yourself; it is in conjunction with others that you really accomplish the major things in life. (Michael Korda) If you don't have power, you cannot do anything, you cannot protect yourself, you cannot get anything done yourself. Your interests are not the interests of somebody else. The best way to think about power is to think about it as a game, a game with rules and moves. No one ever succeeded in business by sitting quietly at their desk and doing what they are told. Do everything you do as if it were the only thing that mattered. (Nancy Campbell) When dealing with a challenging person, analyze the problem and not the person. What are you expecting the person to do? What is an acceptable response? Specifically, what is the difference between what you expect and what they are doing? Start by asking the person what's the problem?