207: How to not be a permissive parent
b"Sometimes when listeners write to me, fun things happen! \\U0001f92a\\n\\nListener Diana replied to a recent email because she had listened to quite a lot of my episodes (although more of the earlier ones than the recent ones) and she was generally on board with my approach.\\n\\nBut she was having a hard time! Despite doing a lot of things for her children, and trying to remain calm and 'unruffled' and show that she loves them unconditionally, but as pretty often when she asked them to do something they sometimes scream at her for offering to help, they attempt to boss her around, and they're inflexible and rude.\\n\\nSo what's going on here?\\n\\nHave we (finally) met children for whom my approach simply does not work?\\n\\nOf course, as soon as I received Diana's email I wanted to talk with her. She gamely agreed to come on the podcast, although she did want to protect her privacy so there's no video for this episode.\\n\\nWe talked through the kinds of situations she often finds herself in, and some of the reasons why her daughter, in particular, might be acting this way. It turned out that in her indecision, Diana was drifting into permissive parenting, which meant that her children didn't know her needs - because Diana didn't know her own needs.\\n\\nWe identified quite a few practical things she could try to consider both her own and her children's needs, and there's also a message in the episode that Diana sent me a week after we talked, sharing how things were going.\\n\\nIf you'd like help with your own parenting struggles, I'd encourage you to sign up for the FREE Setting Loving (and Effective!) Limits workshop, which is starts on Wednesday April 24th. I'll help you set limits effectively - but I'll also help you set way fewer needs than you ever thought possible, by meeting your needs, and your child's needs, much more of the time. No permissiveness required!"