075: Should we Go Ahead and Heap Rewards On Our Kid?
b'A couple of months ago, an article by journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer \\u2013 whose work I normally greatly respect \\u2013 started making the rounds on Facebook. Then (knowing my approach to parenting) a couple of readers emailed it to me and asked me what I thought of it.\\nThe article was called https://amp.slate.com/articles/life/the_kids/2017/08/rewards_systems_for_kids_are_effective_if_you_use_them_correctly.html (Go Ahead: Heap Rewards On Your Kid), with the subtitle: Parents are told stickers and trinkets for good behavior will ruin their children\\u2014but the research is wildly misunderstood.\\n\\nMoyer\\u2019s main point is that while a large number of sources state that rewards are detrimental to children\\u2019s development (largely to their intrinsic motivation), \\u201cthe literature on the potential dangers of rewards has been misinterpreted while the findings on its benefits have been largely overlooked.\\u201d\\nI had already done https://yourparentingmojo.com/009-do-you-punish-your-child-with-rewards/ (an episode on the negative impact of rewards on children\\u2019s development). I was prepared to wholeheartedly disagree with Moyer\\u2019s article. But I came out of it sort of half-convinced that she might be right.\\nSo I came up with a two-pronged approach to the research for this episode. Firstly, I would dig into all the research that she read (and some more besides) to fully understand the evidence she consults, with one guiding premise:\\nIs it possible that Moyer is right? Is it possible that rewards have some benefit for children and for families?\\nAnd secondly, I wanted to ask Alfie Kohn \\u2013 the author of Punished by Rewards \\u2013 to address these issues in-person.\\nSpoiler alert: heaping rewards on your kid is great for gaining compliance. If compliance is what you want in your child.\\n \\nGet a free guide called How to Stop Using Rewards To Gain Your Child\\u2019s Compliance (And what to do instead)\\nI also want to let you know about the new Finding Your Parenting Mojo membership group. Each month the group will tackle one topic related to parenting and child development, and we\\u2019ll help you to learn about and implement new strategies and tools to support your child\\u2019s development and make parenting easier for you.\\nIt\\u2019ll be like having a personal guide to help you implement the ideas you hear about on the show.\\nTo tie in to this week\\u2019s episode, I have a FREE guide called How to Stop Using Rewards To Gain Your Child\\u2019s Compliance (And what to do instead) available as a preview of the membership group content. Each month you\\u2019ll get a guide just like this, walking you through a different aspect of parenting and helping you to make the changes needed to make sure your day-to-day-parenting is in line with your goals for the kind of child you want to raise.\\nBecause it turns out that the desire to raise an independent, thoughtful adult with strong critical reasoning skills isn\\u2019t so well aligned with rewarding a child for complying with your wishes.\\n \\n \\nhttps://www.addtoany.com/add_to/facebook?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Frewards%2Fandlinkname=075%3A%20Should%20we%20Go%20Ahead%20and%20Heap%20Rewards%20On%20Our%20Kid%3F ()https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/twitter?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Frewards%2Fandlinkname=075%3A%20Should%20we%20Go%20Ahead%20and%20Heap%20Rewards%20On%20Our%20Kid%3F ()<a class="a2a_button_pinterest" href="https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/pinterest?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Frewards%2Fandlinkname=075%3A%20Should%20we%20Go%20Ahead%20and%20Heap%20Rewards%20On%20Our%20Kid%3F...'