051: How to handle social exclusion
b'\\u201cI don\\u2019t want to play with you.\\u201d\\n\\u201cYou\\u2019re not my friend.\\u201d\\n\\u201cWe\\u2019re playing families. If you want to play, you have to be the dog.\\u201d\\nSeems like everyone can remember a time when something like this happened to them as a child, and how much it hurt. Children still say these things to each other \\u2013 and we see how much it hurts them, too. When researchers ask them, every child can remember a time when they were excluded \\u2013 yet no child ever reports being the excluder!\\nOne of my listeners recommended that I read the book You Can\\u2019t Say You Can\\u2019t Play, in which the author (who is a teacher) proposes and then introduces a rule that you can\\u2019t say \\u201cyou can\\u2019t play.\\u201d A few researchers (including Professor Jamie Ostrov, with whom we\\u2019ll talk today) have since tested the approach: does it work? If not, what should we do instead?\\nSince most of these situations occur in preschool and school, teacher Caren co-interviews Professor Ostrov with me: we have some great insights for teachers as well as lots of information for parents on how to support both children and teachers in navigating these difficult situations.\\n\\n \\nReferences\\nAllen, S.S. (2014). Narratives of women who suffered social exclusion in elementary school. Unpublished Ph.D dissertation. Antioch University, Culver City, CA\\nDeVooght, K., Daily, S., Darling-Churchill, K., Temkin, D., Novak, B.A., and VanderVen, K. (2015, August). Bullies in the block area: The early childhood origins of \\u201cmean\\u201d behavior. Child Trends. Retrieved from https://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/2015-31BulliesBlockArea.pdf (https://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/2015-31BulliesBlockArea.pdf)\\nHaney, M., and Bissonnette, V. (2011). Teachers\\u2019 perceptions about the use of play to facilitate development and teach prosocial skills. Creative Education 2(1), 41-46.\\nHelgeland, A., and Lund, I. (2016). Children\\u2019s voices on bullying in kindergarten. Early Childhood Education Journal 45(1), 133-141.\\nOstrov, J.M., Gentile, D.A., and Crick, N.R. (2006). Media exposure, aggression and prosocial behavior during early childhood: A longitudinal study. Social Development 15(4), 612-627.\\nOstrov, J.M, Godleski, S.A., Kamper-DeMarco, K.E., Blakely-McClure, S.J., and Celenza, L. (2015). Replication and extension of the early childhood friendship project: Effects on physical and relational bullying. School Psychology Review 44(4), 445-463.\\nOstrov, J.M., Murray-Close, D., Godleski, S.A., and Hart, E.J. (2013). Prospective associations between forms and functions of aggression and social and affective processes during early childhood. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology 116(1), 19-36.\\nPerry, K.J., and Ostrov, J.M. (2017). Testing a bifactor model of relational and physical aggression in early childhood. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment. Online first. doi 10.1007/s10862-017-9623-9\\nSwit, C. S., McMaugh, A. L., and Warburton, W. A. (2017). Teacher and parent perceptions of relational and physical aggression during early childhood. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 1-13. DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10826-017-0861-y (10.1007/s10826-017-0861-y)\\nWerner, N. E., Eaton, A. D., Lyle, K., Tseng, H., and Holst, B. (2014). Maternal social coaching quality interrupts the development of relational aggression during early childhood. Social Development 23, 470-486. doi: 10.1111/sode.12048\\nWeyns, T., Verschueren, K., Leflot, G., Onghena, P., Wouters, S., and Colpin, H. (2017). The role of teacher behavior in children\\u2019s relational aggression development: A five-wave longitudinal study. Journal of School Psychology 64, 17-27. doi: 10.1007/s10826-017-0861-y\\n \\n<a class="a2a_button_facebook" href="https://ww...'