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b'When one of our kids is having a meltdown in Aisle Six of the supermarket, we will often remind ourselves: He\\u2019s not giving us a hard time. He\\u2019s having a hard time.\\n\\xa0And sometimes those words will seem zero percent helpful.\\n\\xa0But they\\u2019re true. As Dr. Ross Greene puts it, \\u201cKids do well if they can.\\u201d Therefore, when they\\u2019re falling apart there\\u2019s a reason, as Dr. Vasco Lopes of the Child Mind Institute explains: \\u201cA majority of kids who have frequent meltdowns do it in very predictable situations.\\u201d\\nParenting expert Dr. Stuart Shanker suggests we reframe our responses by getting curious about where the outburst is coming from, finding patterns that might provide clues\\u2013 and then teach our children the skills to regulate their emotions themselves. We loved this infographic by Kristin Weins, reminding us that tantrums are kind of like icebergs: there\\u2019s much more beneath the surface than what we can see.\\nIn this episode we discuss:\\n\\nhow to help children of all ages regulate their emotions so tantrums occur less frequently\\nwhy toddlers\\u2019 tantrums are a biological imperative (sorry)\\nthe things to do during a tantrum vs. the things to definitely do later\\n* how to keep ourselves out of \\u201cred brain\\u201d even when our kids are there\\nwhat not to say once they finally calm down\\nwhy teenagers\\u2019 tantrums feel like they come out of nowhere\\n\\nAnd here\\u2019s links to some of the research and resources discussed in this episode:\\nDr. Stuart Shanker\\u2019s Self-Reg Knowledge Series\\nKathleen Megan for The Hartford Courant: The Biology Behind Teens\\u2019 Temper Tantrums\\nunderstood.org: Why Does My Child Still Have Temper Tantrums?\\n\\nchildmind.org: How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation?\\nDr. Harvey Karp\\u2019s \\u201cfast food rule\\u201d for talking to a toddler\\nthe \\u201cchicken cheese bread\\u201d recipe Margaret mentioned:\\nIf all else fails, and you need new inspiration to keep calm, try this advice from Dr. David Walsh:\\n\\xa0\\nIf you feel your blood pressure rising, take a deep breath and remember this advice: \\u2018When you feel like taking the wind out of his sails, it is a better idea to take your sails out of his wind.\\u2019\\n\\xa0\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices'