Ask Margaret - Do I Get a Say On Who My Kids' Friends Are?
b'This week\'s listener question comes from Kristen in our Facebook group:\\nHow much input should I have on my kids\' choice of friends?\\nThis is a hard one. Ceding control over our kids\' lives is anxiety-producing, and one of the first ways we need to practice letting go is when our kids choose friends that - let\'s say - wouldn\'t have been our first choice for them.\\nSo that\'s the bad news.\\nThe good news is that we do still have a role to play in this situation. Just as with our own kids, when we address the behavior of our kids\' friends, rather than their character, we\'ll get better results. We can (and should!) verbalize things like "I don\'t like when I see [insert friend\'s name] using bad language." That message will be heard by our child with a lot less defensiveness than if we say "That [insert friend\'s name] is such a bad kid!"\\nHere are other things you can consider doing if you\'re worried about the kinds of friends your kid is choosing:\\n\\nKeep your child involved in a range of activities, so they\'re exposed to a wider potential friend group.\\n\\nHave gatherings at your house so you can get a better sense of your child\'s friendship dynamics and how they\'re playing out.\\n\\nHelp your child develop "prospecting" by talking about behavior and consequences frequently.\\n\\nImplement concrete consequences for a friend\'s inappropriate behavior. If your child knows she\'ll lose her phone for the day if her friend sends her an inappropriate text, she might be more motivate to set her own boundaries on that friend\'s behavior (or that friendship). \\n\\n\\nOur kids\' friends can sometimes seem to have an outsized amount of influence over our kids. Hence our concern as parents. But if we are consistent with our own expectations and discipline, we can help our children navigate a range of friendships successfully.\\nHear more about this topic in our episode "Kid Friend Breakups":\\nhttps://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2018/05/kid-friend-breakups-episode-55/\\nAnd if you have a question for Margaret or Amy you can submit them to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com.\\n\\n\\n* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!\\n* Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast\\n* Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast\\n* YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast\\n* Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast\\n* Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast\\n* questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices'