Ask Amy: I've Got a Bedtime Staller

Published: Sept. 25, 2023, 9:30 a.m.

b'How do we get our savvy stallers to get ready for bed in a reasonable amount of time? Amy gives a listener some tools for speeding up a bedtime slowpoke.\\nNici came to our Facebook group to ask:\\n"Please help this mom of a very smart and savvy 11-year old who is some kind of Jedi master of STALLING. He knows it\\u2019s bedtime. He doesn\\u2019t want to go to bed. But instead of outright complaining, he subtly and consistently stalls his bedtime by doing little tiny things to stall the process. Pointing out each little thing he\\u2019s doing in order to stall is annoying and only makes him dig his heels in more. I love him so much, and I know this is all probably a ploy for attention, BUT COME ON. I feel like we give him a LOT of attention throughout the day and in general. What can I do?"\\nWhat is your kid getting out of stalling? Maybe they do want to just stay up later. It could be that his bedtime needs to be rolled back by half an hour.\\nYou can also try doing the unpreferred activities before the preferred one. All the bedtime stuff (homework, shower, pajamas, teeth, whatever it is) comes before the preferred activity (TV, gaming, time with you).\\nWhen something with a kid becomes an ongoing struggle, the best place to start is to ask these two questions: what can I add? What can I take away? \\nYou might add external motivation, rewards, a later weekend bedtime. \\nYou might take away your presence while he stalls, the dog that is there to distract him, the sugary treats that might be revving him up. \\nWork these dials one at a time, and have patience. Once you figure out a kid\'s secondary gain, and/or the currency that motivates them, things will usually fall into place. \\n\\nSpecial thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!\\nFor trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand.\\xa0Download the Pampers Club App today\\xa0to start earning free diapers.\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices'