Episode 36: In a strange restaurant, Tim's friend is informed that all shall eat the same lunch after casting their preferences. Neither lunch option is desirable, but one is remarkably worse than the other.
In an attempt to be somewhat like Franz Kafka, while being slightly more accessible than Franz Kafka, but not nearly as renowned or groundbreaking as Franz Kafka, Tim wrote this story in the spirit of the 2020 Presidential Election. An election between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, or between a Sauerkraut Sandwich and a Cup of Diarrhea. Any similarities it holds to South Park are a mistake, though Tim does realize a Cup of Diarrhea is eerily similar to a Turd Sandwich. Sorry about that. There are only so many ways to package poop.
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“Three million!” we all cried. “Three million options for lunch and this is what we’re left with? How can that be? How can our cohorts have given us such horrific options out of three million?”
"You will each let your preference be known,” the waiters said, ignoring our words. “And whatever lunch gains the most preferences shall be the lunch you all eat.”
A pause followed before our side of the counter erupted in discussion. It was clear that there was no other way out, and we would have to choose one of the two options offered. Some again tried the door to see if the passing minutes had somehow weakened the locking mechanism. Others didn’t try the door, knowing that even if they did somehow escaped this restaurant, they would be drawn into others with similar poor choices, or some without any choice at all.
Some crossed their arms and said, “I’m not stating a preference. My preference is not having a preference.”
In response to these voices, the waiters raised their own. “Whether one enters a preference or not, all will be eating the chosen lunch,” they said.
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If you enjoy westerns like True Grit or The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, check out Tim’s western novel, Dust, available on Amazon in eBook form in addition to being read on the podcast.
For other resources, visit timdrugan.com.