Relationships Are Hard. This Unusual Parenting Theory Can Help.
b'This is one of those episodes I feel I need to sell. Because on one level, it\\u2019s about an unusual theory of parenting known by the acronym RIE \\u2014 for the nonprofit group Resources for Infant Educarers, which promotes its principles \\u2014 that I\\u2019ve become interested in. But this isn\\u2019t a parenting podcast, and I know many of you don\\u2019t have young kids. The reason I\\u2019m doing this episode is that I think there\\u2019s something bigger here.\\n\\nRIE is centered on the idea that infants and toddlers are whole people worthy of respect. It gets attention for some weird recommendations, like how we should ask babies\\u2019 permission before changing a diaper or picking them up and how we should avoid distracting toddlers from a tantrum or seating them in a high chair. But underneath all that is something profound. A theory of how to build a relationship based on respect when words fail or are absent. A view of what it means to treat others with respect when we can\\u2019t count on respect being returned. And a recognition that in any interaction with another person, all we can really control is ourselves \\u2014 the boundaries we draw, the energy we carry and the values we express.\\n\\nThis is a profound way to think about adult relationships. And it\\u2019s a profound way to think about political relationships, too, if you extend the teachings outward.\\n\\nJanet Lansbury is a RIE educator and the author of the books \\u201cNo Bad Kids\\u201d and \\u201cElevating Child Care.\\u201d She also hosts a popular parenting podcast, \\u201cJanet Lansbury Unruffled.\\u201d It was through her work that I learned about RIE, so she was the perfect person to invite on for this discussion.\\n\\nMentioned:Ezra\\u2019s conversation with Alison Gopnik\\n\\nBook Recommendations:\\n\\nDear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect by Magda Gerber\\n\\nSiblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish\\n\\nThe Hurried Child by David Elkind\\n\\nBiased by Jennifer L. Eberhardt\\n\\nThoughts? Guest suggestions? Email us at ezrakleinshow@nytimes.com.\\n\\nYou can find transcripts (posted midday) and more episodes of \\u201cThe Ezra Klein Show\\u201d at nytimes.com/ezra-klein-podcast, and you can find Ezra on Twitter @ezraklein. Book recommendations from all our guests are listed at https://www.nytimes.com/article/ezra-klein-show-book-recs.\\n\\n\\u201cThe Ezra Klein Show\\u201d is produced by Annie Galvin, Jeff Geld and Rog\\xe9 Karma; fact-checking by Michelle Harris; original music by Isaac Jones; mixing by Jeff Geld; audience strategy by Shannon Busta. Our executive producer is Irene Noguchi. Special thanks to Kristin Lin.'