Boundaries, Burnout and the 'Goopification' of Self-Care
Love it or hate it, self-care has transformed from a radical feminist concept into a multibillion-dollar industry. But the wellness boom doesn\u2019t seem to be making a dent in Americans\u2019 stress levels. In 2021, 34 percent of women reported feeling burned out at work, along with 26 percent of men.\n\nDr. Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist, has observed how wellness culture fails her patients, who she says are often burned out because of systemic failures, from the stresses that come with financial precariousness to the lack of paid family leave. In her book \u201cReal Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included),\u201d she encourages people to look beyond superficial fixes \u2014 the latest juice cleanses, yoga workshops, luxury bamboo sheets \u2014 to feel better. Instead, she argues that real self-care requires embracing internal work, which she outlines as four practices: setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, aligning your values and exercising power. Lakshmin argues that when you practice real self-care, you not only take care of yourself, but you can also plant the seeds for change in your community.\n\nIn this conversation, the guest host, Tressie McMillan Cottom, and Lakshmin discuss how the pandemic opened up a larger conversation about parental burnout; how countries with more robust social safety nets frame care as a right, not a benefit; why it\u2019s fair to understand burnout as a type of societal \u201cbetrayal\u201d; how to practice boundary-setting and why it can feel uncomfortable to do so; the convenient allure of \u201cfaux self-care\u201d; and more.\n\nThis episode was hosted by Tressie McMillan Cottom, a columnist for Times Opinion, a professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and the author of \u201cThick: And Other Essays.\u201d Cottom also writes a newsletter for Times Opinion that offers a sociologist\u2019s perspective on culture, politics and the economics of our everyday lives.\n\nMentioned:\n\nMore information about Ezra\u2019s Jefferson Memorial Lecture\n\n\u201cWe Don\u2019t Need Self-Care; We Need Boundaries\u201d by Pooja Lakshmin\n\n\u201cHow Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers\u201d by Pooja Lakshmin\n\n\u201cOur Obsession With Wellness Is Hurting Teens \u2014 and Adults\u201d by The Ezra Klein Show with Lisa Damour\n\n\u201cA Legendary World Builder on Multiverses, Revolution and the \u2018Souls\u2019 of Cities\u201d by The Ezra Klein Show with N.K. Jemisin\n\nBook Recommendations:\n\nLiving Resistance by Kaitlin B. Curtice\n\nThe Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour\n\nThe Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin\n\nThoughts? Guest suggestions? Email us at ezrakleinshow@nytimes.com.\n\nYou can find transcripts (posted midday) and more episodes of \u201cThe Ezra Klein Show\u201d at nytimes.com/ezra-klein-podcast, and you can find Ezra on Twitter @ezraklein. Book recommendations from all our guests are listed at https://www.nytimes.com/article/ezra-klein-show-book-recs.\n\nThis episode of \u201cThe Ezra Klein Show\u201d was produced by Kristin Lin. Fact-checking by Michelle Harris. The senior engineer is Jeff Geld. The senior editor is Annie-Rose Strasser. The show\u2019s production team includes Emefa Agawu and Rollin Hu. Original music by Isaac Jones. Audience strategy by Kristina Samulewski and Shannon Busta. The executive producer of New York Times Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser. Special thanks to Sonia Herrero.