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Many of us have been taught or grown to believe that unconditional love is the highest of virtues.

And in many ways it makes sense. Loving others \u2014 without conditions \u2014 seems to be the highest level of love possible, partly because it sometimes seems so unrealistic, especially when it comes to family members.

(It\u2019s even difficult to get clear on exactly what we\u2019re talking about because we only have one word for \u2018love\u2019 in English. In Latin there are at least three \u2014 Eros, Agape, and Philia).

But as Greg and I have thought about, discussed, and researched it over the years, we\u2019ve come to believe that unconditional love is a lower, shallower type of love that is the foundation for higher, deeper types of love. And those more meaningful types of love are actually conditional. In reality, our closest relationships are \u2014 and should be \u2014 based on this \u2018conditional\u2019 love.

For example, I can have unconditional, accepting love for my neighbor, despite what he does or how he treats me. But I can\u2019t have a deep, meaningful relationship with my husband unless our love is conditional \u2014 i.e. we treat each other with respect, loyalty, and fidelity. 

Otherwise, is there any difference between our relationship and the one I have with the neighbor? It is ONLY because of these \u2018conditions\u2019 that our marriage relationship exists.

In this episode, we dive into what this \u2018conditional\u2019 love actually looks like, and how it works so that it doesn\u2019t become toxic or manipulative \u2014 which is the risk if it\u2019s not built on a foundation of unconditional love for self and others.

We explain how spousal, parental, and even God\u2019s love has conditions, and when unconditional love, non-judgment, and tolerance become vices instead of virtues (and can lead to extremes such as school shootings).

Listen to this fascinating episode discussing the pros and cons of unconditional love as well as the depths and levels of love and loving others and how to reach greater heights of love.

This episode is sponsored by the Extraordinary Family Life Formula. 

Discover simple tools for creating more order, peace, & prosperity in your mind, emotions, finances, & relationships -- plus gain the ability to persuade and influence your family with diplomacy.

Click the link to become a member of The Formula today and meet live with Greg and me every month for workshops covering every area of family life.