Our society has become really good at using softeners, and at making others feel like they have to use them too, really guilt tripping the rest of us to use them so that we don\u2019t make other people feel bad.\nBig problem!\n-we\u2019re teaching and spreading victimism\u2014that another person can make us feel something \n-that we should live in a world where nothing and no one makes us feel uncomfortable or threatened. That\u2019s just not realistic and that philosophy makes us weak and unprepared for life. This is one of the reasons for the failure to launch and why many adults are not behaving as adults.\n-false idea that we should not feel pain, or conditioning to avoid pain at all costs. \n\nSofteners are tranquilizers; they are anesthetics that keep us from improving our lives. Pain can equal progress. In fact pain is the greatest motivator toward progress. But if we are consistently numbing ourselves we won\u2019t change things we NEED to Change \n\nAre you fat? Obese? This is not body shaming! It\u2019s body love. This whole life is about maximizing our potential and living in extraordinary life. Our body is our vehicle for life and when we don\u2019t take care of it we are limiting our own lives. \nThe main reason that any of us gets fat is because we don\u2019t control what\u2019s going in our mouths. \n\nHow have you been treating yourself?\nHow is your marriage, really?\nHow is your parenting? Be painfully honest.\nHow is your financial situation? \nHow is your spiritual state?\nHow are you managing your emotions? Paragraph be painfully honest with yourself in every part of your life. See things as they really are, but not worse than they are.