Episode 157: Conflict in Divorce with Debra Doak
Debra Doak is back on the show, this time to talk about all things conflict and divorce. Debra is a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Family Court Mediator, and the author of High-Conflict Divorce for Women.\xa0\nIn this episode, we dissect what it means to have conflict, how (and why) it happens, and what to do when it inevitably shows up in the midst of your divorce.\nDebra believes that while all divorce involves some degree of conflict, most of us have much more influence on the cost and the outcome than we realize - and much of that revolves around HOW we approach and respond to that conflict.\nShow Highlights\n\nWhat conflict is and what causes it to escalate in divorce. (5:02)\n\nAn amicable divorce does not mean no conflict. Divorce will have conflict. (8:47)\n\nWhat factors contribute to a breakdown in communication when in divorce negotiation. Debra also explains the \u201cassumption iceberg.\u201d (9:44)\n\nThe five ways people deal with conflict, including assertive or collaborative. (13:01)\n\nEffective mediation versus where mediation goes wrong. (15:06)\n\nCollaborative conflict divorce takes the longest, but it also has the best outcome for everyone. (18:09)\n\nHow to invite your soon-to-be-ex into a collaborative discussion. (22:43)\n\nHow to manage conflict in the moment: use the power of Yes/And. (32:22)\n\nTools for dealing with a high-conflict situation or conversation. (37:33)\n\nThe key to setting yourself up for success in divorce is preparation. (43:47)\n\nLearn more about Debra:\nDebra is a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach, Family Court Mediator, and the author of High-Conflict Divorce for Women. In addition to working one-on-one with clients, Debra spends time teaching and mentoring new divorce coaches. She is the instructor for the High Conflict portion of the CDC Certified Divorce Coach program, a long-time mentor coach for the CDC program, and is a co-founder and master educator at Divorce Coaches Academy - an online continuing education platform for professional divorce coaches.\xa0\nShe is committed to helping clients speak up for what they deserve in their relationships or at the negotiating table. In her practice, she works one-on-one with clients to help them prepare for a kinder, gentler divorce by providing the practical support and financial information clients need to punch fear in the face.\xa0\nDebra is dedicated to the profession of divorce coaching and its role as a method of alternative dispute resolution. She believes that while all divorce involves some degree of conflict, most of us have much more influence on the cost and the outcome than we realize - and much of that revolves around HOW we approach and respond to that conflict.\xa0\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices