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b"Come on in, the water's fine! Don't mind the shadows lurking beneath the surface, it's just this week's cryptid! Slice up some cucumber snacks and throw on a bathing suit you don't mind ruining, then dive in with us as we learn about the Kappa! We'll be your lifeguards as we discuss the Kappa Pop Culture Empire, mummified hands, and the place where etiquette meets a watery grave."