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After the tragic death of our basketball team's former mascot, Old Phillip, we are in dire need of a new mascot. As I'm sure you know, the only way to find a worthy mascot is through deadly battles. So we've constructed a bracket to pit 16 of this town's finest mascots against one another in single combat. Pan will be coming to you live with their good friends Coach Zweck, and Gritty to give you all the ringside coverage you crave. Grab some popcorn, place your bets, and get ready for an exciting evening of wholesome carnage.

Tim Merriman was not able to compete in this Mascot Mayhem, due to the fact that he isn't even kind of a mascot. Not even a little bit. But his spirit was present to bring us hope when we needed it most. If you are ever in need of a light when all other lights have gone out, consider visiting TimReallyCoolName on soundcloud

CONTENT WARNING: pervasive discussion of fighting and killing, multiple decapitations, many bugs, brief description of eating bugs, a bear attack, a goat attack, OSHA violations that lead to workplace accidents, a building collapsing, an impalement, horse destruction

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