StupidLand: Devils Torque Wrench

Published: Aug. 19, 2018, 11:52 p.m.

Calibrated to an accuracy of +/ 4%, the Beelzebub Torque Wrench lets you work with an evil confidence, eliminating moral ambiguity and the tendency to overtighten. Correctly tightening the psyche of your followers ensures parts are properly secured without being damaged. Simple and easy to use, this artifact of artifice has a reversible ratcheting head that drives fasteners in both directions and measures pain in the clockwise direction. To measure torque, set the desired retribution value on the handle scale (foot pounds or Lucifer meters) and begin tightening the dammed. Built for consistent performance and years of dependable punishment, the mechanical design doesn't need batteries, and the allsteel construction has no plastic parts to break or show fear.