Manipulation assumes no gender\u2026 and neither does vulnerability. Here to talk about the power of standing up for yourself and stepping away from the victim mentality is Ryan Breivik. Ryan is the mastermind behind The Scarlet Letter D, a book about bouncing back and redefining yourself after divorce, which he created because he would have loved to have that knowledge back when he was going through his divorce.
Ryan was married to a "narcopath", which is a combination of a narcissist and a sociopath, and has been divorced for 9 years. Ryan\u2019s mother was highly emotional and his father didn\u2019t often think things through, so that was the norm that he grew up with. He didn\u2019t know he was being abused by his wife, but around the fourth year of marriage, she admitted that she had been with other men before being with him. This wasn\u2019t the way their culture worked. Normally, physical intimacy is saved for after marriage. Ryan began to think of what else she hasn\u2019t told him and that it was the beginning of the end. His competitiveness led him to hold on to the relationship and keep fighting for it, but as she began pulling away from their religion, he could see the relationship falling apart.\xa0
\u201cWhen you love someone, the love that you share can either warn you or it can encourage you.\u201d
They were married for over 5 years and when it ended, Ryan went to counseling and began to build his emotions and psyche around healthy relationship principals. He exercises a lot, which also acts as a form of therapy for him. Hydration, preparation, and taking advice from people who have been in his shoes helps him on his journey. The reasons why he feels like his healing has advanced so much are that he can realize when he\u2019s being triggered and that he works on getting over the victimization. He\u2019s stopping the cycle of abuse by helping his daughters identify when their mother has way too much control over their lives. When they stay with him every so often, he gives them healthy structure but also encourages having lots of fun and playing.
\u201cWe don\u2019t have to be victims. We don\u2019t have to stay that way. It\u2019s okay to lick your wounds, that\u2019s healthy, but it\u2019s not the endgame, it\u2019s not where you want to finish.\u201d
Ryan explains how he recognized when he was being manipulated by his wife, giving examples of the emotional manipulation. He speaks on how to counter manipulation and stand up for yourself and shares his candid thoughts on cancel culture. He shares his \u201cwhy\u201d in life and gives advice to other men and dads who have been abused, including the importance of continuously building confidence. Ryan speaks on the untapped potential we all have, why men struggle with vulnerability, and the importance of men being in touch with their emotions.\xa0
\u201cMy rights don\u2019t stop at your feelings.\u201d
Connect with Ryan Breivik:
Find him on Facebook: www.facebook.com/He.who.grills\xa0
Follow him on Instagram: www.instagram.com/ryanbreivik\xa0
Follow him on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ryan_breivik21\xa0
Buy his book: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-scarlet-letter-d-j-rgen-rune/1129094618\xa0
Connect with the host, Tiffany Barnes:
Listen to more episodes of Speak LOUD: www.speakloudpodcast.com \xa0
Visit my non-profit\u2019s website: www.sharethemovement.org\xa0
Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/speakloudpodcast\xa0