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In this educational, no-nonsense episode (featuring very little education and a great deal of nonsense), two of fiction\'s sharpest-tongued and most magically bad-ass witches settle a long-standing grudge when a young man suddenly manifests more arcane power than anyone should be expected to control. With the boy in desperate need of training, a dark choice between freeform, experimental teaching methods and structured institutional learning lies before him, and Granny Weatherwax, the most feared practitioner of headology on the Discworld, and Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts\' resident Transfiguration instructor and Quidditch enthusiast, are engaged in a battle for his very soul! Or at least the right to make cuttingly sarcastic comments about his attendance record.

Which witch will prevail in this duel not only of magical might, but of proving oneself a nurturing and effective instructor? RoShawn DiLodovico of the UNspoiled! Podcast joins Smash Fiction to help us find out, along with the likewise debuting Marissa Bond, who arrives to take on the entire goddamn patriarchy! Also, MeganBob has words for Albus Dumbledore (and none of them are "oddment" or "tweak"), Miles\' years of childcare experience manifest in the theory that kids like \'splosions, and Kit starts collecting the weirdest baseball cards ever.