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Spy vs. spy takes on a whole new meaning this week, as the rebooted (but still all kinds of suave) MI6 agent known as 007 and the amnesiac ex-CIA agent Jason Bourne attempt to beat each other to the most valuable prize in the field of government espionage: the information hidden inside the head of Dr. Evil's beloved Mr. Bigglesworth! But first, of course, they will have to escape from one of the supervillain's famously impractical death traps, fight their way through hordes of goons, sneak the baldest of all felines out of the Virtucon building in Seattle, and hijack a vehicle to get them to the airport -- and victory!

Will James Bond, fully powered with the essence of Daniel Craig, overcome his propensity for getting women killed and escape with the vital intelligence needed to finally take down the pernicious paterfamilias and his patented pinky gesture? Or will Bourne, despite the loss of his identity, prove his spying supremacy and deliver the final ultimatum?

Colin Mulkerin returns, this time as our first-ever guest judge, to deliver what might be the funniest (and longest) intro scenario in podcasting history. Also, Miles shockingly brings up professional wrestling (but pays dearly for it in the end), MeganBob postulates a magical golden dick, Dan takes the Casanova Fallacy to a whole new level, and Liz Logan is just so damn happy that we're doing this match.