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Have your deep philosophical statements ready and get ready to fly, kids, because swords and stage wires are about to cross in deadly but also awesome fashion! Morpheus, one of the major leaders in Zion's war against the conquering machines, has traveled deep into the Matrix in search of a new weapon -- the legendary Green Destiny. He has traveled so far, in fact, that he somehow finds himself in China during the Qing Dynasty, and standing between Morpheus and the Green Destiny is its former wielder, the legendary Li Mu Bai, a man who fights like some bizarre combination of a crouching tiger and a hidden dragon. Neither wire-fu warrior wants this fight, but Morpheus needs the Green Destiny and Li Mu Bai has no intention of letting him take it. As a great master once said, some motherf*ckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.

Colin Mulkerin returns to Smash Fiction to give us his tips for a perfect Agent Smith impression, along with his signature brand of breathless argument. Meanwhile, everyone else forgets they're on an audio-only program and starts describing their impractical sunglasses or their sick martial arts poses while the judge swings on wires in the rafters.