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Due to a bizarre series of events involving Buddhist Sith Lords, Spanish Jedi, and Darth Vader's growing ennui (because Smash Fiction continuity is awesome) the First Order's new superweapon project -- a matching pair of new, improved, and fully-furnished Death Stars -- has been taken over by two certified crazy artificial intelligence programs. The first, all the way from the future year of 2001 (a space odyssey can turn into a time odyssey at any second/set of of coordinates) is the murderous red-eyed master of chess, art appreciation, and being afraid he can't do that, HAL 9000! The second, having ironically been pulled through a portal, is GLaDOS, the most psychologically sadistic killing machine ever to lie to your face about cake. Now they each have a Death Star (ho ho ho), and have set their sights on slaughtering the deliciously helpless stormtroopers inside.

Which A.I. can kill their Death Star's crew first in a human-murdering race that would be totally messed up if the victims weren't glorified space Nazis? How long can Miles' opening intro possibly be? (Hint: Colin is now determined to top it.) How do you pronounce GLaDOS, anyway? Why does Dan hate chess, and by extension, America? And how many Smash Fiction hosts are actually replicants?

Featuring the return of guest host Rafael Medina, who is absolutely a real human, no matter what the director's cut might imply. Yep. Totally, 100% hum-droid. I mean, human. That's what I said.