30 - Carrie vs. Matilda

Published: March 20, 2016, 3:05 p.m.

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Kids today. First it's pot, then it's telekinesis, and the next thing you know, an abused, introverted rage monster like Carrie White is rampaging all over Shermer High School. This is exactly why you stay away from that Mutant Growth Hormone, young people; try it once, and you could wind up covered in blood and setting towns on fire. Fortunately for Shermer High and it's stellar detention attendance record, a much more positive role model has stepped in to try and calm Carrie down, or failing that, maybe just blow up her head. Enter Matilda Wormwood, precocious child prodigy and fellow proponent of mind over matter. See? You don't need drugs, children. All you have to do is read lots of books and get really smart -- actually, wait, don't do that, either. Sit down and watch TV.

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Can Matilda stop Carrie's murderous telekinetic wrath? Can we actually kill a six-year-old girl on our show? Can Miles read Dan's mind? And most importantly, can Kit and Liz stop making jokes about menstruation for, like, two seconds?

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