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Welcome, dear listeners, to The Last Smashtoberfest! To kick off our final month of horror-inspired content, aka "just a flimsy excuse to make Halloween jokes in silly voices," we have a pair of video game vampires at each other\'s throats!

When the nameless world of Dark Souls requires an undead hero to find the Kiln of the First Flame, it\'s clearly a job for Raziel, wielder of the Soul Reaver and longtime nemesis lover frenemy of the vampire Kain! The time-traveling savior of Nosgoth might have to take possession of a random corpse every time he gets killed by the notoriously bad-ass monsters of Dark Souls, but that\'s nothing when you\'ve already arranged your own resurrection or whatever. Soul Reaver is a hell of a drug, y\'all. What matters is, he\'s up to the task.

Unfortunately, Raziel isn\'t the only deathless abomination wandering these parts. Alucard, hero of Castlevania and winner of Spelling Your Dad\'s Name Backwards as an Act of Rebellion Magazine\'s Sexiest Man of the Year award three years running, is also here, and also eager to prove that he can conquer Dark Souls. Which gothic vampire boi will get the job done first and make their way to the Kiln, and the narratively impressive moral quandary that lies inside?

Liz Logan breaks out her signature opening argument moves, Claire has a complicated history with Soul Reaver, and Alucard moons everybody. Plus, a brand new Smashtoberfest intro from Miles and Sharon that is simultaneously a labor of love and DEEPLY stupid. Thanks as always to Kevin MacLeod for the song we used, which is called "The Dread." Welcome to the end times!