Earlier this year, a three-year-old video of researchers extracting a long, twisted tube from a reptile\u2019s bleeding nostril went viral. To date, it has accumulated more than 30 million views and set off a moral panic. The straw that broke the turtle\u2019s beak also did a number on the camel\u2019s back. Companies like Starbucks, Ikea, and Hilton hotels have announced policies reducing or eliminating single-use slurping devices.