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\u201cFrom my perspective, one of the reasons we tell stories is it helps give us a sense of who we are, we use stories to affirm our identity. And that's part of the reason why we don't actually like to call them stories, because if we call them stories, and we begin to see that the self is actually rooted in construction, made up interpreted reality, it can be very threatening to us and to our sense of who would I be without this story. And so that's one of the things that I really love about this is you can begin to see that my sense of self has to change, if I'm willing to look at my stories, what is going to happen is my sense of who I am is going to change.\u201d\nSo says Courtney Smith, a coach, facilitator, and dear friend who is schooled and trained in many different modalities: Conscious Leadership Group, Byron Katie\u2019s work, the Alexander Technique, and the Enneagram. She is one of my favorite thought partners because of the range of her intelligence and the structure of her mind: She was a math econ major who happens to have a J.D. from Yale and a masters in public health from NYU. Before taking a turn toward the mystical, she was a McKinsey consultant. So in short, she\u2019s a multi-hyphenate Renaissance woman whose bookshelf looks much like mine. You might remember Courtney from our conversation on Pulling the Thread about the Enneagram\u2014if you missed it, there\u2019s a link in the show notes\u2014but today, we\u2019re going to talk about Stephen Karpman\u2019s Drama Triangle: What it is, how to know when you\u2019re in it, and how to move past it\u2026while recognizing that you\u2019ll be in another one soon enough. We also do a little bit of live coaching and role-playing, so you all will really get a sense of how this powerful tool works.\xa0\nMeanwhile, if you want to work with me and Courtney, together, we\u2019re hosting a workshop from May 17-19 at the Art of Living Retreat Center in Boone, North Carolina. It\u2019s called \u201cChoosing Wholeness Over Goodness\u201d and will be a combination of On Our Best Behavior and Courtney\u2019s techniques. Honestly, I can\u2019t wait\u2014I hope you\u2019ll all join us. The link to sign up is also in the episode page, or the link in bio on my Instagram account, @ eliseloehnen.\xa0\n\nMORE FROM COURTNEY SMITH:\nMy Workshop with Courtney at AOLRC: \u201cChoosing Wholeness Over Goodness\u201d\nFirst Pulling the Thread episode: \u201cThe Practical Magic of the Enneagram\u201d\nCourtney\u2019s Website\n\nALSO MENTIONED:\nThe 15 Commitments of Conscious Leaders\nElise\u2019s Substack Newsletters:\nEnding the Manel\nThe Perception (and Reality) of Scarcity\nWho Gets to Be an Expert?\n \nTo learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy\n \n Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices