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\u201cI think I find great comfort in this idea that when you form that bond, when you fall in love, your neurons are actually changed the way that the electrical firing patterns happen in your brain, the way that proteins are folded are changed because of this one and only person that you have spent time with. And from that perspective, when my dad died, he is still here literally right in my physical brain. He's physically in my brain. Now. That's not, I mean, that's data on the one hand, but I also find it comforting on the other hand that he is still with me. And because it's with the brain that I perceive the whole world, he's also in a sense with me as I experience everything.\u201d So says neuroscientist and professor Mary-Frances O\u2019Connor, author of THE GRIEVING BRAIN. In her work, O\u2019Connor studies the ways in which grief, loss, and bereavement imprint on the way we process the world\u2014unable to physically map and locate the person who is now missing from our interpersonal landscapes, we must find new ways to navigate our lives, working around holes that feel, quite frankly, unbridgeable. I loved our conversation, because we explored both science and faith, as well as the enduring reality of grief: Those who have experienced loss understand that grief never goes away, even when you move past the stage of unrelenting grieving. We also talked about the new DSM-5 diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder, the pitfalls of rumination, and the essential nature of patience\u2014both for ourselves and each other. At a time in our culture where we\u2019re coping with massive loss\u2014from the personal, to the cultural, to the environmental, O\u2019Connor\u2019s framework and language feels critical for understanding where we\u2019re at. Particularly, as she points out, because the oscillations of grief work\u2014moving from pain and anguish to moments of laughter and joy\u2014is actually the framework for true mental health. Mental health is not maintaining happiness as status quo, she notes, it\u2019s the flexibility to move through all emotions, including the most difficult ones.\n \nTo learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy\n \n Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices