149. Earning Freedom (15.3), by Michael Santos
Earning Freedom: Conquering a 45-Year Prison Term, by Michael Santos
Running, getting ready for release. Transferring to Atwater and getting ready for release.
\xa0
It\u2019s Christmas, 2010, my 24th Christmas morning as a federal prisoner.\xa0 I\u2019ve now served eight thousand, five hundred, and thirty-nine days, but today is a very special day and I\u2019m excited to call my wife.\xa0 For the first time that I can remember, I\u2019ll be giving her a magnificent surprise.
I\u2019ve been awake since 2:17, writing her a letter while I wait for the phones to turn on.\xa0 Now it\u2019s nearly six and I expect to hear a dial tone soon. She received the envelope that I sent her, but we agreed that she would not open it until I called her this morning.\xa0 While waiting for the phone to turn on, I\u2019ve been writing a letter to her, describing the joy that I feel at crossing into 2011.\xa0 We will begin making final plans for my release from prison, my return to society, and I am ready.
\u201cMerry Christmas honey,\u201d she answers my call at precisely 6:01 am.\u201d
\u201cMerry Christmas.\xa0 Are you ready to leave?\u201d\xa0 Carole\u2019s driving up to Taft for a visit this morning and I want to make sure that leaves on time so that she arrives as soon as the visiting room opens at 8:00 am.
\u201cI\u2019m ready.\xa0 Can I open the envelope now?\u201d
\u201cDo you promise you haven\u2019t opened it yet honey?\u201d
\u201cI told you I wouldn\u2019t.\u201d
\u201cOkay precious.\xa0 Merry Christmas.\xa0 You can open it now.\u201d I wait, listening to her slice open the envelope.\xa0 \u201cBe careful, my love, you won\u2019t want to slice what\u2019s inside.\u201d
\u201cWhat is it?\u201d I hear her giggle.\xa0 \u201cOh my God!\xa0 It\u2019s a check for $45,000.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s for us honey, to help start our life when I come home to you.\xa0 I want you to set that aside so that we don\u2019t have any financial stress when I walk out of here to you.\u201d
\u201cBut we\u2019ve already saved enough money.\xa0 How did you do that?\u201d
\u201cI work hard for you, my love.\xa0 You\u2019re my inspiration and nothing fulfills me more than to think that I\u2019m providing for you, making your life better.\xa0 It\u2019s the only way that I can feel like a man rather than a prisoner.\u201d
Whenever I earn financial resources from prison, whether it\u2019s through a writing fee or a stock trade, I derive an enormous sense of gratification.\xa0 This environment is designed to crush the human spirit.\xa0 Prisoners are supposed to go home broken, without financial resources, without a support network, destitute.\xa0 Yet despite the quarter century that I\u2019m serving, I\u2019m going to walk out of here strong, stable.\xa0 My wife has earned her credentials as a registered nurse.\xa0 She has secured a job at Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara and expects to earn $80,000 per year.\xa0 Besides that income, men who know the value of work have paid me well, sufficiently to have supported my wife through what others would construe as incomprehensible struggle.\xa0 After all of those expense, we\u2019ve managed to build an after-tax savings account that now exceeds $100,000. Having achieved these goals from within prison boundaries magnifies the delight I feel.
*******
It\u2019s April 12 of 2011 and I have to make a decision.\xa0 My release date is scheduled for August 12, 2013.\xa0 I have 284 months behind me and a maximum of only 28 more months of prison ahead of me.
But I know that I won\u2019t serve a full 28 months.\xa0 Some complications surround my release date because I have that sliver of parole eligibility.\xa0 It\u2019s strange.\xa0 My case is so old that I\u2019m one of the few prisoners remaining in the federal system that qualifies for an initial parole hearing.\xa0 By my calculations, members of the U.S. Parole Commission have the discretion to release me as soon as February of 2013, in only 22 more months.
That doesn\u2019t tell the whole story.\xa0 Besides the parole date, I qualify for up to 12 months of halfway house time.\xa0 If I were to receive the February 2013 parole date, I could transfer to a halfway house as soon as February of 2012, in only 10 more months.\xa0 But even in the unlikely event that the U.S. Parole Commission declined to grant me parole, I\u2019m eligible to transfer to a halfway house 12 months before my scheduled release date, which would be in August of 2012.\xa0 That means release should come for me somewhere between 10 and 16 months from today.
I need to decide where Carole and I are going to make our home.\xa0 We don\u2019t have roots anywhere.\xa0 It feels as if we\u2019re going to be hatched in society.\xa0 Carole\u2019s children, Michael and Nichole are grown and building lives of their own in Washington state.\xa0 She has agreed to let me choose where we should start our life together.\xa0 I\u2019m thinking about what city would be best.
My sister Julie lives in Seattle, and that\u2019s an obvious possibility.\xa0 Both Carole and I grew up in Seattle, but after 25 years, we don\u2019t have a home anywhere.\xa0 My younger sister, Christina, lives in Miami, which is another possibility we\u2019ve discussed as a potential starting point.\xa0 My mother lives in Los Angeles with my grandmother, and in light of the foundation that my friend Justin established, we\u2019re thinking about LA as well.
\u201cThe reality, honey,\u201d I tell my wife during a visit, \u201cis that we\u2019re both going to be 48 years old when I walk out of here in the next 10 to 16 months.\xa0 We\u2019ll only have 12 years before we\u2019re 60.\xa0 Just as the decisions that I made early in my prison term played a pivotal, influential role in my journey, these decisions I make going forward are going to have an enormous influence on where we\u2019re going to be when we\u2019re 60.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s why I want you to choose, where we go.\u201d Carole holds my hand during our visit.\xa0 It\u2019s the only physical contact we\u2019ve ever had during our entire marriage, but that life of celibacy is coming to an end. \u201cAs long as I\u2019m with you, I don\u2019t care where we go.\u201d
\u201cWhat\u2019s most important to me is that I go to the city where I have the best opportunity to earn an income and bring stability to our life.\u201d
\u201cAs a registered nurse, I can get a job anywhere.\xa0 And we have enough savings to give you that stability.\xa0 You should arrange your release to wherever you want to go.\xa0 How about Santa Barbara?\u201d
\u201cThe market is too small, honey.\xa0 As I see it, we have three choices.\xa0 We can choose Los Angeles, we can choose San Francisco, or we can choose New York.\xa0 I need to be in a big city.\u201d
\u201cBut how will you start in New York or San Francisco?\xa0 We don\u2019t know anyone there.\u201d
\u201cGeoff is in New York and Lee is in San Francisco. Both of them would help us if I asked.\u201d\xa0 I remind her of my friend Geoff Richstone, the cardiologist from New York and my friend Lee Nobmann, the lumber baron of Northern California.
\u201cYou choose, honey.\xa0 Wherever you want to go, I\u2019m with you.\u201d
*******
I\u2019m waiting on the track at Taft camp on Friday morning, April 22, 2011.\xa0 My friend Lee Nobmann is flying in for a visit today and his pilot will land the private jet, a Cessna Citation, at Taft\u2019s airport.\xa0 I see the blinding spotlight as it approaches and then I hear the roar of the engines.\xa0 It\u2019s a magnificent airplane, a sign of Lee\u2019s business brilliance and the successful company he built in Golden State Lumber.\xa0 Carole is picking him up at the airport.
\u201cIt\u2019s good to see,\u201d I say when I walk into the visiting room.\xa0 He is a great man and a great friend.
I tell Lee about the dilemma I\u2019m facing with regard to which city I should choose to launch my life.\xa0 While we dine on vending machine hamburgers, he listens to the different options I present and to the plans I have for building a career around all that I\u2019ve learned as a federal prisoner.
\u201cDo you really want to be talking about your experiences in federal prison for the rest of your life?\xa0 I\u2019ve got to tell you,\u201d he says, \u201cno one in the real world is really going to care anything about prison.\xa0 Why don\u2019t you come work with me?\xa0 I could always use a man with your intensity and I\u2019ve got the perfect spot for you in a real estate development company that my kids are running.\u201d
I have enormous respect for Lee. He isn\u2019t only an extraordinarily successful businessman, employing several hundred people, but he\u2019s also genuinely happy, with a loving marriage that has spanned four decades and great relationships with his children.\xa0 When he extends an offer for me to work with him, it\u2019s an offer that I have to consider.
\u201cIf that\u2019s what you think would be best for me,\u201d I tell him, \u201cthen that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to do.\xa0 But I\u2019m passionate about this idea I have of building a business around all that I\u2019ve learned.\xa0 There aren\u2019t many people who\u2019ve sustained a high level of discipline and focus through a quarter century of adversity.\xa0 I\u2019m confident that I can find a market for products and services I intend to create around that journey.\u201d
Lee leans back and looks at me.\xa0 He has blue, penetrating eyes, white hair, and looks every bit the self-made man that he is.\xa0 I admire him immensely and I aspire to earn his respect.\xa0 It\u2019s as if I\u2019m always auditioning for him, trying to prove worthy of the trust he places in me with his friendship.
\u201cHere\u2019s what we\u2019re going to do,\u201d he settles it.\xa0 \u201cTell your case manager here that you\u2019re going to relocate to the Bay area.\xa0 I\u2019ve got a fully furnished guesthouse on my property.\xa0 You won\u2019t need anything at all.\xa0 It has everything, including towels, silverware, even a coffee pot.\xa0 Use that as your release address.\xa0 You and Carole can stay there for a year without any cost.\xa0 One of my companies will employ you for a year so that you can earn an income while you build your business.\xa0 If it doesn\u2019t work out, then you come work with me.\u201d
With Lee\u2019s generosity, my decision becomes easy.\xa0 As he would say, it\u2019s a no brainer.\xa0 Our home is going to be in the city by the Bay, a city I\u2019ve never visited before.
*******
It\u2019s Wednesday, April 27th, 2011 and I\u2019m sitting on a bench with my friend Greg Reyes.\xa0 We\u2019re reviewing edits I\u2019ve been making to the manuscript that describes his life and he turns to me with a peculiar question.\xa0 \u201cDo you think you could run a marathon?\u201d
I\u2019ve run every day without a single day of rest since Saturday, December 13, 2008.\xa0 During the 866 days that have passed since then, I\u2019ve run 7,795 miles.\xa0 The strict accountability logs that I keep give me a clear indication of where I am.\xa0 I\u2019ve averaged more than nine miles every day, but I\u2019ve never been inclined to run a marathon distance of 26.2 miles.\xa0 The longest distance I\u2019ve ever run has been 20 miles, and I\u2019ve done that about a half dozen times.\xa0 I\u2019m not a natural athlete, but running is an exercise of will, and these 8,661 days of imprisonment have given me a strong determination.
\u201cAnyone can run a marathon, I tell Greg.\xa0 But what\u2019s the point?\u201d
\u201cI\u2019d like to run one before I get out.\u201d
Like my friend Lee, Greg is the type of man who clearly defines goals, and then he puts a deliberate course of action in place to achieve them.\xa0 As I do with Lee, I feel as if I\u2019m always auditioning for Greg\u2019s respect.\xa0 Since prison consumed more of my life than I lived outside, I need these tests to feel as I can carry my own around guys who\u2019ve truly succeeded.
\u201cThen let\u2019s run one this weekend,\u201d I say.
Greg laughs.\xa0 \u201cYou\u2019re too much.\xa0 We\u2019ve got to train for running a marathon.\xa0 Every book I\u2019ve read talks about a strict training regimen, increasing distances in incremental levels.\u201d
Greg walked into prison weighing 252 pounds.\xa0 Besides working together on writing his life story, we set a disciplined exercise regimen in place.\xa0 He wasn\u2019t a runner before, but he has run alongside me on several occasions and he\u2019s lost more than 60 pounds during the eight months that he\u2019s served.\xa0 He now has a chiseled physique.
\u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous, Greg.\xa0 We can do it.\xa0 Those books aren\u2019t for people like you.\xa0 Running is all in your mind.\xa0 Let\u2019s just do it.\u201d
\u201cYou\u2019re nuts.\u201d\xa0 He laughs.\xa0 \u201cI\u2019ve got four months left to serve.\xa0 Let\u2019s just set a training plan in place and get to one marathon distance before I go.\u201d
\u201cLook we can do this,\u201d I tell him.\xa0 \u201cBut let\u2019s start by running 20 miles on Saturday.\u201d
\u201cI\u2019ve never run longer than 10 miles in my life,\u201d he says.\xa0 \u201cI\u2019m not running 20 miles on Saturday.\u201d
\u201cYou may not have run more than 10 miles,\u201d I tell him.\xa0 \u201cBut you can run that routinely now and you run much faster than I do.\xa0 Without a doubt, you can run 15 miles.\xa0 Let\u2019s set our mind to that.\xa0 You\u2019ll see.\xa0 It\u2019s no big deal.\xa0 Then we\u2019ll run 20 miles on the next Saturday.\u201d
He agrees and on Saturday, April 30th, we run through 15 miles as if it isn\u2019t anything.\xa0 On Saturday May 7th, we meet on the track with a joint commitment of running 20 miles.
Greg may not have run before he surrendered to serve his sentence but he has developed into a strong runner.\xa0 We run around a dusty dirt track, and since he goes at faster pace, he laps me numerous times.\xa0 He paces alongside me at the 18-mile mark and asks how I\u2019m feeling.
\u201cI feel great.\xa0 How \u2018bout you?\u201d
\u201cI\u2019m okay.\u201d
\u201cYou know,\u201d I remind him, \u201cwe\u2019re in May now.\xa0 Every day going forward will bring hotter temperatures here in Taft. If you feel up to it, I think we should just knock out the full marathon distance today and be done with it.\xa0 What do you think?\u201d
\u201cLet\u2019s get through the 20 and see how we feel.\u201d
At 20 miles he is still lapping me.\xa0 He finishes his first marathon distance in four hours and 14 minutes; it takes me 15 minutes longer to complete the 26.2-mile distance.
We celebrate with a good meal that my roommate prepares for us.\xa0 He\u2019s elated at the accomplishment, as he should be.
\u201cI\u2019ve got to tell you, what you\u2019ve done today is really impressive,\u201d I tell him.
\u201cWe both did it,\u201d he says.
\u201cWell, it\u2019s not quite the same,\u201d I say.\xa0
\u201cWhat do you mean?\xa0 We ran the same distance.\u201d
\u201cTrue, but you\u2019ve only been running for a few months and you knocked out a marathon.\xa0 I\u2019ve been running for longer than 20 years.\xa0 I don\u2019t even feel tired.\u201d
\u201cThen run another one.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s what I was thinking,\u201d I said.\xa0 \u201cI\u2019m going to.\u201d
\u201cAre you nuts? I was only kidding,\u201d he tells me.\xa0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got to let your body heal.\u201d
I shrug.\xa0 \u201cYeah, I don\u2019t think so.\xa0 I don\u2019t even feel as if I\u2019ve done anything.\xa0 Next time, I\u2019m going to run a double marathon.\u201d
\u201cYou\u2019re crazy.\u201d
\u201cSeriously, I can do it.\xa0 I could totally do it.\u201d
\u201cWhen?\u201d
\u201cI was thinking that I\u2019ll run it on Wednesday.\u201d
\u201cOn Wednesday of this week?\xa0 That\u2019s ridiculous.\u201d
\u201cDo you want to run it with me?\u201d I ask him.
\u201cNo, I don\u2019t.\xa0 I\u2019m not running 52 miles.\xa0 Don\u2019t you think that\u2019s a little excessive?\u201d
\u201cI can do it.\u201d
\u201cThen go for it.\u201d
On Wednesday, May 11th, I wake early and I\u2019m eager to set out for the run.\xa0 I have a plan.\xa0 I\u2019ll start at 6:00, when the track opens, and I\u2019ll run for four hours.\xa0 By 10:00 I\u2019ll knock out the first 24 miles.\xa0 Then I\u2019ll return to the housing unit for the census count.\xa0 After that clears, I\u2019ll return to the track and run another 16 miles, bringing me to 40 miles.\xa0 At the slow pace I intend to run, I expect that stretch will last about three hours.\xa0 Then I\u2019ll return to the housing unit for the afternoon census and a shower.\xa0 I\u2019ll go back to the track after the count and knock out the final 12.4 miles.
\u201cYou\u2019re a maniac.\u201d Greg meets me on the track when I\u2019m on the final stretch.\xa0 Temperatures are still in the 90s and he passes me a bottle of Gatorade.
\u201cI\u2019ve got this,\u201d I tell him.\xa0 \u201cOnly one more mile.\u201d
It takes me nine hours and 40 minutes, but I finish, reaching my goal.
\u201cWhat\u2019re you going to do next?\u201d Greg asks.
\u201cI thought about that during the run,\u201d I tell him.\xa0 \u201cI\u2019ve got three marathons in now.\xa0 By the end of this year, I\u2019ll run 50 marathons.\u201d
He laughs.\xa0 \u201cThere\u2019s something wrong with you,\u201d he says.\xa0 \u201cYou\u2019re crazy.\u201d
\u201cI\u2019m going to do it.\u201d
*******
*******
It\u2019s December 31st, 2011 and I\u2019m now in the Atwater federal prison camp, with 8,909 days of prison behind me.\xa0 As far as exercise goals are concerned, it\u2019s been an extraordinary year.\xa0 My fitness log shows that it\u2019s been 1,114 days since I\u2019ve taken a day off from running.\xa0 During that stretch, I\u2019ve logged 10,773 miles.\xa0 Over the course of 2011, the log shows that I ran 4,073 miles, including 55 marathon distances, 98,500 pushups, with 857.3 total hours of exercise.\xa0 I intend to push myself harder in 2012.
Carole and I transferred to Atwater on October 3, knowing that it would be our last prison town as I prepare for my release to the San Francisco Bay area.\xa0 As a privately run facility, the Taft camp could not handle the complicated issues of parole and extended halfway house possibilities.\xa0 When authorities determined that a Bureau of Prisons facility should oversee my return to society, I asked for Atwater. Carole settled a few miles away in Merced and she has a job as a registered nurse at Mercy Medical Center, her second job in a major hospital.\xa0 We\u2019re counting down the days, expecting that my case manager will provide some guidance with regard to my release date soon.
I expect this system to release me before Halloween, but to keep my mind from dwelling on that which is beyond my ability to control, I work toward some clearly defined goals.\xa0 The first is helping my friend Andris Pukke (pronounced \u2018On-dris Puck-y\u2019).\xa0 Like Lee and Greg, Andris built an awesome business.\xa0 He launched a credit counseling and debt consolidation company from his living room while advancing through his senior year at the University of Maryland.\xa0 Under Andris\u2019 leadership, that company, branded as Ameridebt, grew to more than 250,000 customers.\xa0 It became so profitable that Bear Sterns offered to purchase it for more than $100,000,000 before Andris celebrated his 35th birthday.\xa0 I spend several hours each day with Andris, asking questions that help me write his biography.
Andris\u2019 story strengthens my resolve to write about lessons I\u2019ve learned from exceptional businessmen.\xa0 Many business leaders served time alongside me despite their never having had any inclination that decisions they were making could expose them to troubles with the law.\xa0 Speaking and writing about what I\u2019ve learned could bring more awareness to the dangers of doing business in America today.\xa0 Indeed, people I\u2019ve met in prison convince me that business decisions can lead to imprisonment, even when there isn\u2019t any criminal intent or efforts to self-enrich at the expense of others.\xa0 Prosecution of white-collar crime is the new frontier of America\u2019s criminal justice system, and I have some unique insight that can help others understand the subject.
Andris is the fourth man I met in prison who has built a hugely successful business.\xa0 In working with him to write his story, I\u2019m able to push out thoughts about my imminent release.\xa0 It\u2019s important now, during these final months, to focus on work.\xa0 Otherwise, the combination of excitement and anticipation could derail me.\xa0 As it always has, work and focus on goals carries me through.
Andris is released on March 30, 2012.\xa0 That\u2019s it.\xa0 He is the last friend I expect to make in prison.\xa0 I\u2019ll serve the rest of this time alone, expecting that I\u2019ll walk out of here before October.