143. Earning Freedom (12.3) by Michael Santos
Lompoc Federal Prison Camp / meeting Lee Nobmann / Writing books in prison.
Chapter Twelve: 2005-2007
Months 209-231
*******
Mr. Smith is the camp guard on the evening shift. He likes war books, particularly those about World War II and the Third Reich. Generally, I avoid guards, as instinct tells me they\u2019re out to score points with their superiors by writing disciplinary infractions. But someone told Mr. Smith that I\u2019m a writer.\xa0 He likes to talk to me about my work and his career, especially about his time as a soldier in Iraq. Smith once told me that he likes violence, and that he\u2019s \u201cgood at it.\u201d He\u2019s also disappointed that a reprimand for using excessive force on an inmate blemishes his employment record; that record, together with low scores on aptitude tests, hinders his chances for a job with the Highway Patrol. He dresses the part, riding into the camp each afternoon on his Harley, wearing a black, chrome-studded bomber jacket, a white helmet reminiscent of a Prussian soldier, and mirrored sunglasses in thin metal frames.
I see Mr. Smith when I return to the camp after finishing an evening shift at the powerhouse. When I ask him for my mail, he hands it over and initiates a conversation.
\u201cRead your book,\u201d he nods his head and squirts tobacco into his disposable cup. \u201cGood stuff. Only objection I got is that you write prison guard \u2019stead of correctional officer.\u201d
\u201cI\u2019m describing prison from a prisoner\u2019s perspective,\u201d I explain. \u201cIt\u2019s what I see. Why would that bother you?\u201d
\u201cBecause we\u2019re not just prison guards. We\u2019ve got training, policies we follow to maintain order.\u201d
\u201cI don\u2019t write \u2018guard\u2019 to demean anyone, but I\u2019m trying to show the reader accurately what prison is about. In 19 years, I\u2019ve never felt the system was trying to correct me, or anyone else. Although it\u2019s called \u2018corrections,\u2019 and \u2018correctional officers\u2019 supposedly staff the system, the primary emphasis is on protecting the security of the institution. That\u2019s guarding the prison, not corrections.\u201d
\u201cThing is, ain\u2019t nothin\u2019 much we can do to \u2018correct\u2019 half the knuckleheads we got runnin\u2019 \u0313round the joint. Only thing they understand is a swift kick in the ass.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s where we disagree,\u201d I counter. \u201cThe use of force instead of incentives is the main reason the prison system has such a high rate of failure, wasting billions of dollars in taxpayer resources.\u201d
\u201cHow\u2019s it not workin\u2019?\u201d Mr. Smith smirks. \u201cAin\u2019t no one escapin\u2019.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s because you\u2019re guarding the prison, but you\u2019re not correcting anyone. Incentives that would include mechanisms for prisoners to work toward earning freedom would change that. They would motivate more people to grow and prepare for success.\u201d
\u201cSounds like a bunch of liberal bullshit.\u201d He spits into his cup.
\u201cFancy yourself a conservative, do you?\u201d
\u201cDamn straight.\u201d He walks around the desk and drops into his chair.
\u201cSmall government and all that?\u201d
\u201cYou got it, brother. Stars and stripes all the way.\u201d
\u201cThen how do you explain your government paycheck and guaranteed pension? You\u2019ve got what, a high school diploma, but you\u2019re pulling down enough to buy a Harley, a boat, an RV, and you get more vacation than anyone in the private sector. For what?\u201d
\u201cMaintain\u2019 order. That\u2019s what.\u201d
\u201cI guess that\u2019s your take. From my perspective, prisons cause more harm than good. I write what I see.\u201d
\u201cYou and I ain\u2019t so diff\u2019rent. I could see us on the outside, bringin\u2019 the little ladies out for a bite while we chug brewskies and disagree over how the world ought to be run.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s going to have to wait. I\u2019ve got seven more years to be corrected.\u201d
*******
Lee Nobmann surrenders to Lompoc Camp in early July of 2006. He\u2019s in his early 50s, clean cut with snow-white hair, clear blue eyes, and a stocky build. He\u2019s alone, sitting at a picnic table that overlooks a lush valley on his first day. I\u2019m at the next table and notice him as a new face, one that looks more like a businessman than a prisoner. I\u2019m always fishing for prisoners from whom I can learn, especially businessmen whose stories I can write about in White Collar.
While I\u2019m stealing a glance at the title of the book he reads, trying to gather clues of his interests, our eyes connect. \u201cAre you a fan of John Grisham?\u201d I ask him.
\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d he smiles.
\u201cJohn Grisham, the author of your book. Have you read much of his other work?\u201d I walk toward his table.
He flips the book over to look at the cover. \u201cI just picked it off the shelf in the library. I was looking for something to kill time.\u201d
I put out my hand. \u201cI\u2019m Michael Santos. Welcome.\u201d
\u201cLee Nobmann,\u201d we shake hands.
\u201cHave you settled in okay?\u201d I ask.
\u201cI\u2019m getting the hang of it,\u201d he nods his head. \u201cIt\u2019s a little slow.\u201d
\u201cBelieve me, it gets easier. How long are you going to be with us?\u201d
\u201cAbout a year. How about you?\u201d
\u201cI\u2019ve got seven more to go, but they pass quickly, I know.\u201d
\u201cOuch. It hurts to hear you say it.\u201d
I smile. \u201cIt\u2019s not so bad. I\u2019ve been in for a long time.\u201d
\u201cReally?\xa0 How long?\xa0 I\u2019ve met some guys who\u2019ve been in for several years?\u201d
\u201cI\u2019ve been in since 1987. I\u2019m finishing my 19th year.\u201d
\u201cMy God! And you\u2019ve got seven more to go? That\u2019s an entire life. How old are you?\u201d He asks.
\u201cI\u2019m 42.\u201d
\u201cWhat did you do? If you don\u2019t mind my asking?\u201d
\u201cNo, I don\u2019t mind. I didn\u2019t pay my taxes.\u201d
\u201cYou\u2019re kidding.\u201d
\u201cWell, I sold cocaine, too, but that\u2019s beside the point.\u201d
He laughs. \u201cAre you serious? You\u2019ve been in prison for 19 years? How come you look so normal? I thought you just came in too.\u201d
I nod my head. \u201cWhat can I say? I\u2019ve earned a gold medal for serving time.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s the craziest sentence I\u2019ve ever heard. Sorry to hear it.\u201d
\u201cI\u2019ve been blessed in many ways. I\u2019ve got a great wife, and through writing I\u2019ve found a way to connect with the world.\u201d
\u201cWhat do you write about?\u201d
\u201cPrison,\u201d I laugh. \u201cIt\u2019s the only world I know. I try to give readers a look inside.\u201d
\u201cWhat do you write? Articles or something?\u201d
\u201cI write books.\u201d
\u201cNo kidding. You can do that from here?\u201d
\u201cI do.\u201d
\u201cAre any of them published?\u201d
\u201cA few. I\u2019m writing a new one now for white-collar offenders, a book that can help businessmen and other professionals understand more about the system.\u201d
\u201cI could\u2019ve used something like that. I didn\u2019t know squat about what I was getting myself into.\u201d
\u201cWhat kind of work do you do?\u201d
\u201cI\u2019m in retail.\u201d
\u201cWhat do you sell?\u201d
\u201cLumber.\u201d
\u201cIs that against the law?\u201d
He laughs. \u201cI\u2019ve got a tax case.\u201d
\u201cYou mind talking about it? I like learning from guys like you.\u201d
\u201cNo, I don\u2019t mind. It\u2019s not that interesting though. I took some business deductions I shouldn\u2019t have.\u201d
\u201cIt might not be that interesting to you, but I\u2019m sure businessmen from across the country would like to know how taking deductions can lead to a prison term.\u201d
\u201cWhen you put it that way, I guess you\u2019re right,\u201d Lee acknowledges.
\u201cAre you still in business?\u201d
\u201cOh yeah.\u201d
\u201cGood size company?\u201d
\u201cIt\u2019s fair,\u201d he nods his head.
\u201cHow many employees?\u201d I look for a sign that will tell me who I\u2019m talking to.
\u201cWe\u2019ve got close to 500.\u201d
\u201cFive hundred employees,\u201d I laugh. \u201cYou call that a fair size company?\u201d
He smiles, his eyes sparkling as he bounces his hand in the air. \u201cKeep it down. I shouldn\u2019t have said that.\u201d
\u201cWhy not?\u201d
\u201cIt\u2019s probably not a good thing to have going around in a place like this.\u201d
\u201cWhat kind of revenue does a company like that take in?\u201d
\u201cWe should do about 450 million this year.\u201d
\u201cFour hundred and fifty million dollars? That\u2019s a monster of a company. Is it public?\u201d
\u201cNo,\u201d he shakes his head. \u201cIt\u2019s a family business.\u201d
Lee and I talk at the picnic table until we have to go in for the 10:00 pm census. After the count clears, we return to the picnic table and talk until midnight, enjoying the warmth of summer and each other\u2019s company.\xa0 He\u2019s down to earth, really at ease. I prod him with questions about how he built his business and I respond to his questions about what it\u2019s been like to live as a prisoner. I\u2019m glad to have a new friend, someone I can admire and learn from.\xa0 For someone in prison, a friend is the greatest thing in the world.
*******
It\u2019s Monday, August 6, 2006, the day that Inside: Life Behind Bars in America hits bookstores across America. I wrote the proposal and sample chapter more than two years ago, and I\u2019ve worked on the project in one way or another every day since. As I walk from my rack down the center hall of the housing unit to the bathroom, I check my watch. It\u2019s only six in California, but nine on the East Coast and bookstores have opened in New York, Washington, Boston, and other big cities. I stand in line waiting to use the sink, wondering whether anyone\u2019s reading my book. In only seven more years I\u2019ll walk into a bookstore or library and see books on a shelf with my name on the spine. But now, I need to remove the rice, beans, and hair someone left in the drain filter of the sink so I can brush my teeth before work.
My job in the powerhouse gives me a great escape from the crowded feeling of the housing unit. I like to spend time in what I\u2019ve come to call \u2018my office.\u2019 It\u2019s small, only enough room for one, and I\u2019ve personalized it.
From a guy with skills in arts and crafts, I bought a frame for a picture of Carole and me sitting beside each other during visiting. He wove the frame from discarded potato-chip bags, which is part of his prison hustle. \xa0On the shelf above my desk, I have dictionaries, reference books, quotation books, and an almanac. When I close the door I\u2019m alone, productive. The guards on duty leave me to my work, except when they need help with their own projects.
\u201cDid you see this?\u201d Mr. Lime asks me. He works in the office next to mine as the shop supervisor, and he hands me an Internet printout from The Los Angeles Times Sunday Book Review. Ed Humes, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author wrote about my book, Inside, and the full-page review has my photograph.
\u201cThanks,\u201d I say. I feel validated, because although I\u2019m a long-term prisoner, my work is now published in open society and this review will forever bolster my r\xe9sum\xe9. I strive to prove worthy of Carole\u2019s love and of the support I receive from so many people. It thrills me to have the review that exposes my work to millions.
\u201cYou got a copy of the book?\u201d Mr. Lime asks.
\u201cI\u2019ll have some this week, assuming the mailroom passes them through.\u201d
\u201cLet me check it out.\u201d
\u201cYou bet, boss.\u201d
Two hours pass and I\u2019m using a plastic spoon to dig tuna from its pack when Mr. Johnson opens the door behind me. I set the pack down on the credenza and spin my chair around to face him. His smoker\u2019s rasp, out of the left side of his mouth since his cigarette is on the right side, adds to his East Texas hillbilly twang. I like him.
\u201cCaught that piece \u0313bout ya in the paper,\u201d he said.
\u201cThanks,\u201d I reply.
He stands in the doorframe, papers in his hand, with the unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. His tie is loosened, the top button of his blue shirt undone. Through brown reading glasses he studies the papers he holds.
\u201cCan I help you with something?\u201d I ask, gathering that he wants something.
\u201cIf ya please, I\u2019d like ya ta take a look at some papers.\u201d
\u201cAnything, of course.\u201d
\u201cJob's comin\u2019 up, project manager for the city of Santa Maria. I done filled out a r\xe9sum\xe9, cover letter, and what have ya. Seein\u2019 as yer a writer and all, think ya could look it over for me?\u201d
\u201cAbsolutely.\u201d
Mr. Johnson passes me his papers and then stands watching over me as I read through them. I\u2019ve been working as the powerhouse clerk for six months and we have an easy relationship. He uses profanity when he tells me stories about his weekends. He says that he watches a standup comedian by the name of Larry the Cable Guy. Despite the familiarity, I\u2019m intuitively uncomfortable evaluating his shoddy writing and don\u2019t know what I should say.
\u201cWould it be okay if I made some suggestions?\u201d
\u201cYou betcha. I was hopin\u2019 ya\u2019d fix it up.\u201d
\u201cIt would probably be easier if I retyped it.\u201d
\u201cFix whatever it needs. I know I got some weaknesses, seein\u2019 as I didn\u2019t finish college and they\u2019re asking\u2019 for a college diploma, but I\u2019ll be retirin\u2019 with 30 years in the Bureau, runnin\u2019 facilities of ev\u2019ry size. That oughta count for somethin\u2019. Doctor it up as best ya can.\u201d
\u201cI\u2019m going to need a few hours.\u201d
\u201cTake as long as you like. I\u2019ll pick\u2019r up tomorra.\u201d He walks out, leaving me alone.
*******
Jeff, a recent Lompoc arrival from Seattle, is in the beginning months of a 10-year sentence for selling cocaine. I\u2019m standing in the narrow space between my bunk and my locker when he taps me on the shoulder.
\u201cHave you seen this article?\u201d Jeff passes me the magazine section from The Seattle Times, Sunday, September 24, 2006. My picture is on the cover, showcasing a story by Stewart Eskenazi, the same guy who covered my trial for the newspaper. My letter to him in 1988 led to an interview and a front-page story where I expressed regret for selling cocaine and committed to using my time in prison to reform and contribute to society. The reporter\u2019s follow-up story, two decades later, describes my progress. Jeff\u2019s parents had sent him the magazine to encourage him as he began serving his sentence.
I open the magazine and I flip through the pages. \u201cI\u2019ve read the text of the article. But this is the first time I\u2019ve seen the magazine. My sister sent me a copy but I haven\u2019t gotten it yet.\u201d
\u201cDude, I can\u2019t believe you\u2019ve done all that from prison.\u201d Jeff nods in admiration.
\u201cIt\u2019s been a long time. Can I hold onto the magazine? I want to show it to a friend.\u201d
\u201cSure. My mom ordered your book for me.\u201d
\u201cCool, thanks for the support. I\u2019ll give you back the magazine when I get mine.\u201d
\u201cKeep it.\u201d\xa0 He says.
\u201cThanks, I appreciate it.\u201d
\u201cNo problem.\u201d
I walk through the narrow passage between bunks and turn down the crowded walkway to Lee\u2019s bunk. He\u2019s sitting on the metal chair in front of his open locker, wearing gray sweats and black reading glasses. He\u2019s placing his crisply folded clothes on the locker shelves.
\u201cCan\u2019t you pay someone to do that for you? CEOs don\u2019t do the grunt work.\u201d
Lee laughs, brings his finger to his lips. \u201cSome things a guy\u2019s gotta do for himself. What\u2019s up?\u201d
\u201cCheck this out.\u201d I hand him the magazine.\u2028\u201cWhoa! Cover story,\u201d he smiles. \u201cThat\u2019s cool.\u201d
\u201cI\u2019ll leave it with you. Let\u2019s meet out on the picnic tables after count.\u201d
\u201cYou bet. Thanks.\u201d
The guards don\u2019t take long to count the 340 camp prisoners at Lompoc, and by 4:20, Lee and I walk with the crowd shoulder to shoulder down the dorm\u2019s narrow hall as if we\u2019re all part of a cattle herd. Some prisoners even moo. Once we pass through the door and we\u2019re in the clear, he tells me how impressed he was with the article. The sun is still warm as we move into California\u2019s Indian summer.
\u201cWhy aren\u2019t more of these guys doing what you did?\u201d Lee asks. \u201cSeems all anyone wants to do around here is play cards and waste time.\u201d
\u201cIt\u2019s not really their fault. Prison has a rigid structure, and it doesn\u2019t offer any hope for these guys. A prisoner can do any number of things that\u2019ll bring him more problems, but there\u2019s no mechanism that encourages him to better his life or shorten his sentence. Trying to get an education is almost impossible with all of the staff resistance. He can\u2019t work toward improving himself, and since the system doesn\u2019t see him for more than the crime that put him in here, the default response is to just give up and accept that prison is for serving time.\u201d
\u201cYou didn\u2019t.\u201d
\u201cIt was different for me. I had so much time to serve that I knew prison was going to eat up a big chunk of my life. I didn\u2019t want it to define me. I knew that I didn\u2019t want to be prisonized, and I knew that if I didn\u2019t educate myself I\u2019d never be able to function outside.\u201d
\u201cThis system is messed up. We\u2019ve got to do something to change it.\u201d
\u201cThat\u2019s what my work is about. One advantage of having served this much time is that I have credibility with other prisoners. I hope to show them by example that with discipline they can develop skills that will prepare them to reenter society and have meaningful lives. Few want to live as criminals, but when they don\u2019t believe in themselves, they give up. That failure pattern starts when they\u2019re young. Without understanding the consequences, kids drop out of school, join gangs, sell drugs, and when they come to prison, they fall further into failure. Through example, I hope to show how they can climb out.\u201d
\u201cBut how? The people who need the message most don\u2019t buy books. Many don\u2019t even read.\u201d
\u201cThey only read about what interests them, and you\u2019re right, they don\u2019t buy books. But if I write about people they identify with, experiences and lifestyles they identify with, I can help. What I need is sponsorship. I need to find businesses and organizations with a social conscience that will buy and distribute the books to those who need them. When I\u2019m out, I\u2019ll find those sponsors. I hope you\u2019ll help.\u201d
\u201cWhy wait until you get out?\u201d Lee asks. \u201cI\u2019ll sponsor you right now. What would you like to do?\u201d
As we sit at the picnic table, Lee listens as I pitch two book ideas. I propose interviewing prisoners who will talk about their criminal histories. Specifically, I want to write about people who quit school, joined gangs, and became involved with drugs or crime. I suggest a book that would profile prisoners and be followed by a series of open-ended discussion questions for the readers to consider. With Lee\u2019s sponsorship, I could produce and distribute the books free to schools with large groups of at-risk kids. Teachers and counselors could use the books to show actual stories of the consequences that follow criminal decisions.
The second book would be for adults who are beginning their terms in prison. That book would also tell prisoners\u2019 stories, but the stories would highlight steps they took to turn their lives around and to live responsibly. This book would show how anyone could use discipline and readily available prison resources to prepare for a successful life upon release.
\u201cWhat would you call that one?\u201d Lee asks.
\u201cI haven\u2019t thought it through yet, but I\u2019d base it on what I\u2019ve learned.\u201d
\u201cI\u2019ll sponsor those projects right now. Count on me for $75,000.\xa0 That should give you enough to write and print both books, distribute them at no charge, and take the pressure off Carole while she finishes school.\u201d
\u201cAre you serious?\u201d
\u201cBelieve me, my family\u2019s been blessed in many ways,\u201d he says. \u201cI\u2019m completely serious. One lesson I\u2019ve learned is that supporting worthwhile projects for society comes back a hundred-fold. Besides, after all the work you\u2019ve done in here, you deserve it.
\xa0