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James Catlidge is serving a 60-month sentence for a white collar crime. He is a businessman that got caught up in a criminal probe. Prior to surrendering, he began writing a blog. We are recording James’ blog, Innocent from the Inside, to help more people understand the challenges of surrendering to federal prison.

James serves his sentence with dignity, and readers may find hope in his positive mindset.

For more information, visit PrisonProfessors.com

Below is the written version of his blog from one of his entries, describing his second week in a federal prison camp.

Its daybreak around 7:15 A.M.  This time of year, I make my way to the eastern corner of the track approximately 80 yards from my cube  I'm laced up tight for my 9 laps this morning, as the sun casts its warming glow across my face and body.  Its cold, maybe 50 degrees.  I have my   t-shirt and gym shorts on.  Today I have a fleece lined sweatshirt on also to keep the damp chill off my body. I have my earbuds in to ward off any would-be talkers, who often use this solitary time to invade my well managed head space.  

Today I'm listening to my favorite country music station, KUZZ, broadcasting from Bakersfield.  As I pick up pace, I'm walking fast, usually 5 minute laps.  Each lap is .38 miles and all dirt and gravel, worn down over the 25 years since this camp opened.  Its hard to keep up, if anybody dares merge in and try to talk.  Few here want to walk this fast.  It's actually peaceful and feels like exercise.

The track provides me with a 360 degree view of freedom.  To the East, in the near distance, are miles and miles of farm fields, growing thick crops, very well groomed.  Beyond that, a mountain/hill range that circles the entire prison compound.  To the West is a small private airport, used by Chevron/Shell and other oil executives who come here for the vast oil wells and refineries in the near vicinity.  

I often look far East, as i make my way down the straight away of the track and I can see I-5

Freeway.  This road feels to me like familiar Freedom.  I've travelled that road, north and south, hundreds of times.  My walks are usually filled with daydreams of great memories with you and my kids, my business associates, chasing down that familiar highway.  For golf or a meeting or to see Kendra or to go to court.  I-5 connected me to many of my activities in a Life of Freedom.  

Today, however, I am walking fast with different thoughts, "What is Freedom?" Racing to court? Having to be at a meeting and sit there for hours?  Staring at my Facebook and social media feed, thinking about being wherever they are?  Chasing a deal, cause I need that deal and many are counting on me to close it?  Sitting in a class that I'm bored by?  Is Freedom defined by one's ability to leave a confined perimeter?  Or is it something else?

Maybe I am free, totally free, uncomfortably free.  The Camp must provide all 3 meals for me.  The Camp must provide religious freedom.  The Camp must provide exercise facilities, education facilities, medical services, even mail, TV and telephone access.   Yet, I am not allowed or even permitted to pay for any of it.  I think I'm Free.  I can wake up when I want, shower when I want, eat when I want, exercise, study, have deep discussions, talk and listen to funny stories, draw, paint, read, pray, go to church and Yes....I can still eat fudge and chocolate cake.

There are a few things I cannot do, all of them are With You, because we are separated by 6 "out of bounds" posts that keep our lives apart for a time, but  I think I'm free.  The bigger question I'm thinking about today is....Are you free?  Freedom is not defined by the distance between "out of bounds" posts but rather, the ability to be present and productive and challenged right where you stand.  In your dorm room, in your bedroom, in a conference room, staring at your social feed or walking the track at Taft.  Are you captive or free?  I'm through walking now.  I think I'll have a lemonade and check the menu for lunch, its the weekend!!!