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rob hubbard\\u2019s soundtrack for mastertronic\\u2019s 1985 commodore 64 video game, action biker. i paid five hundred thousand dollars for this dress. me and colin are looking so cool, our mouths open to the sky, stuffed to the gills, prawn cocktail dripping spilling over our lips and oozing down our necks. he looks so good in his leopard skin pants. i am so full of fuel.

patreon episodes: https://www.patreon.com/noranygard ;

i want to compose for you. contact me https://noranygard.com/ ;

new ambient from citizen scientist, plastic fern in a dodecahedron: https://citisci.bandcamp.com/album/plastic-fern-in-a-dodecahedron ;

i said \\u201cget people to vote against it\\u201d but should also say, and what is perhaps more key, is \\u2018create dumb reasons to make people\\u2019s votes not count.\\u2019

bandcamp united update: https://twitter.com/bandcampunited/status/1640828811687395328 ;\\xa0

more info on their website: http://bandcampunited.org/ ;\\xa0

campaign call:\\xa0https://twitter.com/bandcampunited/status/1641951940086222848?cxt=HHwWgMDS8eGlscktAAAA ;

the best way to hear the music of action biker is probably this video, shoutout to legend derschmu for all the longplays: https://youtu.be/W5ZSF6A2HZ0 ;

my freaking rob hubbard playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7mlUTrcZAsP_w4Oc-o5J0zlI4K3vSVMc ;

me and colin going to prison. too cool for school.\\xa0

stone oakvalley\'s authentic sid collection with 898,338 mp3 and flac recordings, here\\u2019s their rob hubbard trax: https://www.6581-8580.com/socse/index.php?field=composers&sorting=year&view=asc&page=1&wildcard=off&add_fields=&query=rob+hubbard&term_counts=0 ;

searching their database for 1985 alone shows over 2700 games that have had their soundtracks recorded.\\xa0

\\u201ca large amount of commodore hardware connected to servers which would reboot the machines, over and over, playing thousands of pieces of music in different configurations, and automatically cataloging and saving the resulting waveforms\\u201d ;\\xa0

from internet archive blog: http://blog.archive.org/2015/01/13/mirroring-the-stone-oakvalley-music-collection/ ;

do i want to devote my life to this? absolutely not. but i do want to have a better understanding of the history of many of these computers, consoles, and arcade games. for something like the c64, i might pick one or two professional composers and slowly chip away at their gameography on a semi-regular basis, like maybe i\\u2019ll talk about rob hubbard once a month for a while.\\xa0

chris abbott, c64audio, and commodore 64 sid anthology, volume 1: https://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/rob-hubbard/commodore-64-sid-anthology-volume-1.p/ ;\\xa0

the cassette cost \\xa31.99. adjusted for inflation, that\\u2019s about $7.\\xa0

you can ride your bike on a lake i guess. this game does not look fun at all. the youtuber beats it in fifteen minutes.

action biker exists to sell a product to kids: kp skips, a disgusting british snack. it\\u2019s some kind of chip shaped sort of like the shell of a sand dollar. they\\u2019re described as \\u201ccrispy corn fries\\u201d but they taste like \\u201cprawn cocktail\\u201d and the plastic package describes it as \\u201cdelightfully floaty, fizzibly melty.\\u201d

nasty ad, small seizure warning:\\xa0https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgImmps5YUo ;

the music is not good. rob hubbard goes on to make great music for the c64, but this, other than the catchiness, is pretty awful. ugh. trying to be chill about my negativity. it\\u2019s helpful to try to pin down exactly what isn\\u2019t working.\\xa0

1985 in movies haha! back to the future, the goonies, the breakfast club.

there are three different tunes in action biker: gameplay, title, 11-second death.

title screen: simple bassline, noise snare on the backbeat, lead melody that\\u2019s harmonized mostly with parallel thirds. c major, baby. you can turn the music off by pressing f7.

action biker has one sound effect: vroom vroom.

because of the sfx, the gameplay music is left with two available voices on the sid chip, so we\\u2019re stuck with a lead melody on one voice, and the accompanying bassline and snare are played by the final voice.

the melody is weak, meandering, and painful. the harshness is due to the bright high range, the strong attack and sustain of the amplitude envelope, and the unnatural rigidity of the computer\\u2019s \\u201cperformance\\u201d as it\\u2019s expressed through articulations like vibrato.

the gameplay tune is a little over three minutes with a half dozen separate sections, and some rely heavily on the transposition of short phrases \\u2014 possibly a trick to save memory usage? it\\u2019s strange to hear how long each of these separate sections lasts.

super mario bros was published in the same year, soundtracked by koji kondo\\u2019s compositions which featured a small number of short sections that looped endlessly.\\xa0

after the end of the action biker tune, the player is treated to fifteen seconds of listening to their engine rev before the music starts again.

you don\\u2019t have to \\u201cbe koji kondo\\u201d to make good music for games. but the spare, ineffectual and aimless melodies are made even more frustrating by the composition\\u2019s insistence on its form: begin, move through various sections, end, wait, begin again.\\xa0

linear time forced on a non-linear experience.\\xa0

the gameplay music starts by suggesting a g major seven chord with b and d in the descending notes. sort of wants you to think it\\u2019s in g major, or then maybe in c major with half-step intervals both within the scale of the key and outside of it, in kind of a \\u201cblue note\\u201d manner. the tonic feels like c by the end of the tune, but occasionally it feels like the tonic is g. to me, it doesn\\u2019t feel bluesy or jazzy, it just feels nauseating.

the \\u201cminor\\u201d section feels like the tonic is e or possibly g. there\\u2019s so much transposition of this small phrase that the key feels unmoored, afloat. it\\u2019s kind of suggesting e minor or its relative major, g, but then more accidentals are used as the section continues. i feel like you could just as well read it as still being in \\u201cc major with accidentals\\u201d as well as the rest of the tune.

it\\u2019s just weird to have this video game music be so determined to refuse to find its center tonally.

the most egregious usage of phrase transposition happens during the bridges or transitions into and out of this \\u201cminor\\u201d section, each of which lasts about 15 seconds and consists of a short phrase that rises in pitch each time it\\u2019s repeated.

the first transitional section plays a phrase, raises it an octave, then drops the octave but transposes up a half step, plays it an octave up again. this repeats seven or eight times, depending on how you want to count the final repeat. it feels like a failed gesture towards classical or baroque music, and instead sounds like a demonic carnival.

sort of a ( iii - vi - vii\\u1d52 - I ) chord progression at the end if you\\u2019re reading it in c major.

the compositions and sound design in action biker feel rushed, tossed off, and poorly thought out. i don\\u2019t think information is available regarding where precisely this soundtrack falls within rob hubbard\\u2019s early career, but it\\u2019s a terrible start as a listener.

i wouldn\\u2019t have found all of these 80s magazine reviews without the legendary lemon64 website, where you can find the links to the scans: https://www.lemon64.com/game/action-biker ;\\xa0

c&vg issue 47 (sep 85) p34: \\u201caction biker maintains mastertronic\\u2019s tradition of excellent budget-priced software. at \\xa31.99, you would be nuts to miss it.\\u201d\\xa0

commodore horizons issue 20 (aug 85), p16, "ace music" ;

commodore user issue 23 (aug 85), p35, \\u201clove the prawn cocktail ones\\u201d ;

home computing weekly #118 (25 jun 85), p10, \\u201cfunky tune, reasonably jolly [...] music is the best piece yet from mastertronic [...] high addictive qualities\\u201d ;\\xa0

this whole thing feels like a scam.

\\u201clurking since second reality ;)\\u201d https://scenestream.net/demovibes/song/10493/ ;\\xa0

action biker aka sarah nyberg pergament \\u201cnamed her one-woman project action biker after the classic c64-game.\\u201d

her myspace: https://web.archive.org/web/20080709083337/http://www.myspace.com/actionbiker ;\\xa0

her bandcamp: https://actionbiker.bandcamp.com/music ;\\xa0

also: https://wiaiwya.bandcamp.com/album/hesperian-puisto ;

action biker, \\u201chesperian puisto\\u201d: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tkNd6YFSlI ;\\xa0

while we\\u2019re at it,

paul slocum pre tree wave: https://instinctorecords.bandcamp.com/album/sleuth-science ;

tree wave has another release i didn\\u2019t know about, virtual 10 inch (2009): http://treewave.com/mp3s.shtml ;\\xa0

cynthcart whammy bar.

clumsy colin killed the leopard with his bare hands. and i sewed him into the pants