EP 414: How to Get Clarity on Whether a Relationship Is Right with Lucy
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This coaching call is about how patience and compassion without clarity can lead to resentment. Today\u2019s caller, Lucy, doesn\u2019t feel like a priority in her partner\u2019s life. She asks for guidance on whether the relationship is right for her or if there are too many red flags. Christine shares some skills that can help Lucy get what she wants from her relationship.
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[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode414].
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Consciousness isn\u2019t just about talking about our wounding or holding space for someone when they cry. It\u2019s about taking action that\u2019s in integrity and alignment with who we say we are.
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When we have a lot of emotional vulnerability or sexual intimacy and vulnerability with a man, we can mistake it for being in a conscious relationship. If you are in a dynamic where you\u2019re having a lot of emotional intimacy, but you don\u2019t have the consistency or the feeling of safety, it\u2019s not as conscious as you may think. What do you need to do to make a relationship more conscious? Bring accountability, responsibility, and agreements into it.
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Consciousness is an aspect of sacred union, and in sacred union, there\u2019s a masculine and feminine. There is the being and the doing. We can\u2019t just swim around in the feminine being of vulnerability, processing, and emotional intimacy without the masculine of doing, showing up, and having structure. We need both, otherwise, our inner child doesn\u2019t feel safe.
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My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13\u201215 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
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Are you in a relationship, whether it will be romantic or otherwise, that you\u2019re doubting or you don\u2019t have clarity about?
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Are you someone who has trouble asking for what you need so you ask for it in a vague, safe way?
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Do you not feel like a priority in a relationship, or as a child?
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Are you doubting yourself? Are you feeling some nudges and doubts about something but you\u2019re doubting your doubts?
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Lucy\u2019s Question:
Lucy feels stuck when trying to discern the difference between what is a red flag and what is her intuition in a new relationship.
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Lucy\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
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She feels that this new relationship is her first adult relationship.
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She has a hard time trusting herself.
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Her mother didn\u2019t trust her.
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She and her partner are in the process of defining their relationship.
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She wants to know if the relationship is right for her.
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She doesn\u2019t feel like a priority to her partner.
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She appreciates certainty and consistency.
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Her partner has full custody of his two children.
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Her partner doesn\u2019t make plans with her but asks for dates with little notice.
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As a child, she longed for her mother\u2019s attention.
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She is still learning about herself and her patterns in relationship.
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
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Propose a schedule to her partner and re-negotiate if needed.
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Get specific about what she needs from the relationship.
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Takeaways:
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Where do you need to have more masculine energy in your relationships?
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Where do you need to make clear agreements so you can feel safe?
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \u2014 Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \u2014 For information on any of my services
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