EP 409: Should We Continue the Relationship After Infidelity? With Jade
This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today\u2019s call was originally intended to be a couples session with Jade and Matthew. But, Jade has decided to exclude Matthew from the call. She describes why she made the decision. Some people can work through infidelity and have it strengthen their relationship. Other people need a clean break.
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[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode409]
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What can happen when we are working through trust issues and articulating our needs is that when we get to a point where we are triggered, we throw up a barrier rather than a boundary. When we are a person who hasn\u2019t been great at boundaries in life, what can happen when we\u2019re pushed to an edge is we can just throw up a wall.
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Anytime we cheat, there\u2019s a part of us that\u2019s scared of intimacy with the person that we\u2019re with. There are a lot of other reasons but it\u2019s like we\u2019re afraid to go deep with the person we\u2019re with. There can be a pattern of not being able to be fully intimate and fully vulnerable in relationships.
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Most things that happen to us that aren\u2019t necessarily what we want to happen are on some level due to our soul calling in a situation to help us heal something that isn\u2019t optimal inside of us.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
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Do you often not hold boundaries to the extent of when you\u2019re pushed to an edge a wall and barrier comes up?
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Have you tried to forgive someone and tried to heal through relationships but you just keep getting hurt?
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Do you have a hard time trusting?
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Do you beat yourself up when you\u2019ve been hurt because you think you should have seen it coming?
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Jade\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
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She found it difficult to trust Matthew as he traveled.
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She felt like he was hiding information from her.
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She has decided that she can\u2019t be in the relationship any longer.
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She felt energetically that things were off.
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She wants a healthy relationship in the future.
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She has questioned her truth when it comes to Matthew.
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She needs transparency in her relationships.
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She has a pattern of not being fully vulnerable and intimate in relationships.
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She thought she would feel enough if someone changed for her.
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She felt this relationship will help her heal from her previous relationship.
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She wishes her mom was emotionally supportive and less reactive.
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
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Examine her trust issues and why she continues to be in relationships with people she doesn\u2019t trust.
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Forgive Matthew without continuing the relationship with him.
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Create emotional safety for herself.
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Don\u2019t waste her time thinking she \u201cshould\u201d have known sooner.
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Trust herself and give herself time to grieve without beating herself up.
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Get clear about her boundaries in a relationship and write them out.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \u2014 Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \u2014 For information on any of my services
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