Broadcasts.com - "EP 408: Should We Continue the Relationship After Infidelity? With Matthew Part 2 of 3" (Over It And On With It)

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EP 408: Should We Continue the Relationship After Infidelity? With Matthew Part 2 of 3

Published: July 5, 2023, 7 a.m.

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today\u2019s caller, Matthew, has childhood trauma that is affecting his adult behaviors. He wants to continue his relationship with Jade but struggles with self-worth and trust. This is the second of three conversations. In next week\u2019s call, Christine speaks with Matthew and Jade during the couple\u2019s session. Listen to Part One with Jade.

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[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode408]

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Most of the time people don\u2019t act out intentionally to hurt other people, they\u2019re acting out because they\u2019re asking for help, even if it doesn\u2019t seem like it. When we have chronic trauma it is very hard for us to be aware of how it is affecting our behavior.

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When we look at behavior, especially something like unfaithfulness or cheating, if we just look at the behavior we can get angry. Angry at ourselves and angry at the person. We may call it unforgivable, and maybe it is. But when we look at what is underneath the behavior, what\u2019s really driving the behavior, it can give us a different perspective and move us into compassion and ultimately forgiveness.

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Compassion and forgiveness offer hope that a relationship can be healed.

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My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13\u201215 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. Apply by July 10th to get the early bird discount.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you struggle with self-worth issues?
Have you ever been unfaithful or have you been in a relationship where someone has betrayed you, lied to you, or been unfaithful to you?
Did you grow up in a home where there was abuse and chaos and you never really felt worthy or loved or safe?
Are you on a personal discovery journey and you\u2019re clear that you\u2019re changing things but the people around you may not believe you and that can be frustrating?

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Matthew\u2019s Question:

Matthew struggles with self-worth and trust issues. He would like guidance on how to find internal validation and create a safe space for Jade.

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Matthew\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:

He lied, manipulated, and cheated during the relationship but, that\u2019s not who he wants to be.
He feels Jade is having trouble trusting him again.
He has trouble trusting Jade.
He wants to heal his past traumas.
He wants to feel loved, cared for, trusted, and secure in his relationship.
He feels his needs can be met.
He is on a self-discovery journey.
He has always felt he was insignificant and had to fight for love.
He has witnessed infidelity and abuse in his life.
He is working on forgiving himself.
He seeks external validation, mostly from women.
He is seeking out ways to bring joy into his life.
He is becoming aware of the energy he shares with women.
He has an anxious attachment style in his relationships.
He is in awe of who Jade is and sees potential in their relationship.
He loves Jade but he feels he is under attack.