EP 330: How Repressing Anger Makes You Needy with Lee
This episode is about having a pattern of needing to be in a relationship and feeling like something is missing if you don\u2019t have a person. Today\u2019s caller, Lee, has a lot of awareness, but something is missing, and that is being able to access and release his anger. We work through how to release his anger, grieve his childhood, and step into his power.
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[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode330]
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If we grow up in a household with a lot of anger, we think all anger is that way. Yet, anger itself is not bad. It is what we do with anger that can be harmful to ourselves or others. Anger projected onto others through words, yelling, abuse, or violation is unhealthy and dark. Anger directed inward such as being hard on yourself, having a bad inner critic, or self-harming is also unhealthy anger. Yet, anger itself is a natural human emotion.
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If we get our anger out in a safe way we show up more grounded and more present. We become calmer. Remember, we never want to direct our anger at someone and never inward onto ourselves. We want to get a pillow and let our anger out to allow the parts of us that are angry a chance to heal.
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Releasing anger is an important way we become empowered. Often, what makes us needy is that we haven\u2019t found our fierceness or our voice and we are always looking for somebody else to make us feel a certain way. But, when we can get our anger out and step into our power we stop looking to others to fill a void.
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If you missed my Release 2021 Ritual Coaches Corner make sure to do it before doing the Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual.
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Enrollment for the Elementum Coaching Institute is open. Become a master coach upon graduation from the 2022 program.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you feel like something is missing if you are not in a relationship?
- Do you tend to attract people with an avoidant attachment style?
- Did you grow up with one or both parents that were either neglectful or abusive?
- Did you feel unwanted as a child and are consistently trying to love yourself but you can\u2019t seem to let the unloved feelings go?
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Lee\u2019s Question:
Lee always feels that something is missing in his life. He feels he is drawn to people too quickly.
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Lee\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
- He strives to work on his physical and mental health.
- He feels something is missing in his life.
- Being with another person makes him feel safe.
- He uses relationships to fill a void.
- He has an anxious attachment style.
- He was neglected and abused in childhood.
- His father tore the family apart.
- He felt unwanted and not good enough as a child.
- He does things to self-soothe.
- He represses his anger and turns it inward.
- He outsources his self-worth to other people.
- He is needy in relationships.
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Have compassion for himself.
- Allow his inner child to fully grieve.
- Let his anger out to release his emotions.
- Examine the conscious and subconscious vows he made to not be like his father.
- Step into his masculinity and power.
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Takeaways:
- Do the Anger Release exercise to move the energy of anger out.
- Are there any conscious or unconscious vows or oaths you made to never be like someone? If so, you may be denying a part of your expression and it is likely holding you back from authenticity.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \u2014 Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com \u2014 Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \u2014 For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.