EP 273: Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin with Ron
This call is about overcoming apathy and releasing anger. Today\u2019s caller, Ron, was constantly shamed by a volatile father. As an adult, he feels detached and numb. He uses apathy as a coping mechanism. We work through how he can release his feelings and do inner child work. I offer some techniques and strategies to help him regain a healthy masculine identity.
\xa0
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode273]
\xa0
When men have a volatile father, they become passive or hyper-aggressive. They go to extremes. They can become the alpha-dog and lash out or they become passive with emotional eating. It is a common father wound for men to have a degree of shame that goes in either direction.
\xa0
Shame is toxic and the way it impacts us all as humans is similar and different. How it impacts men is particularly detrimental, for women as well, but I've seen it impact men in a way where they lose touch with their masculine energy and become more passive in life.
\xa0
It is nearly impossible to come out of being raised in a fear-based home, having a volatile parent, and never feeling like you got the love, affection, and approval you needed and grow up having no issues with it. As you might intellectually want yourself to be different, until you go back and do the healing work and dive deep, you are going to find yourself in the pantry sneak eating or whatever your version of that is.
\xa0
If you are not living the life you want to be living, it is just feedback that there is more work to do. Inner child wounding is sometimes tough to get at because we bury it so deep. There is no shame and being willing to forgive the person is the first step.
\xa0
If you are a single lady who wants to be in a relationship, to share your life with someone, and want to call in your match, your person, sign up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Get early-bird bonuses if you sign up by December 14, 2020.
\xa0
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your own skin?
- Are you chronologically an adult and keep up with your grown-up responsibilities, but inside you don\u2019t feel like one?
- Are you mostly passive except for those occasional moments you lose your temper?
- Did you get the love, attention, and affection you truly need and deserve from your parents, especially your father?
\xa0
Ron\u2019s Question:
Ron does not feel comfortable in his skin and he feels he does not belong. He would like guidance on how to break through the patterns.
\xa0
Ron\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
- He practices negative self-talk.
- He doesn\u2019t feel like an adult, even though he is responsible.
- He is afraid he will get in trouble for what he does.
- He hides his eating habits.
- His father was quick to anger and volatile.
- He feels detached from his family.
- He has numbed himself and feels apathy toward his parents.
- He craves feeling and pleasure.
- He does try to get his anger out.
\xa0
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Connect to his aggression, rage, and anger to get to the hurt.
- Do the Temper Tantrum Technique from Expectation Hangover.
- Write an \u2018F-U\u2019 letter to his parents he doesn\u2019t send.
- Tap into his masculine energy to find his fire, his warrior to allow him to feel again.
- Find his inner coach voice, not his inner critic.
\xa0
Takeaways:
- If you aren't feeling like an adult, think about where you got frozen in childhood. Many people freeze at a certain age even though we can do adult things.
- Do emotional processing. Use this free anger release download, ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
- If you find yourself sneak eating or the kind of behavior you do in the shadows to soothe yourself or give you momentary pleasure and escapism when you feel the urge to do it, put your hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and ask your little one what they need.
- If eating is a coping mechanism for you, listen to my \u201cCoaches Corner with Samantha Skelly, Hungry for Happiness\u201d
- Reconnect to your little one and give them a chance to express their feelings. Be the parent to yourself you never had.
\xa0
Sponsor:
Rothy\u2019s \u2014 Get your new favorite stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy\u2019s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the newest colors and latest styles from Rothy\u2019s by using this link Rothys.com/over.
\xa0
Resources:
Christine Hassler \u2014 Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \u2014 For information on any of my services.
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.