EP 247: I Feel Like a Failure with Alex
This call is about self-compassion and empowerment. Today\u2019s caller, Alex, judges herself for not being where she feels she \u2018should\u2019 be in life and for not breaking free from a toxic relationship. She wants guidance on how to move forward but must first work through her unresolved wounding. No one makes significant changes by beating themselves up. True transformation and true change come from love.
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[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode247]
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When we judge ourselves as a failure we continue to feel like a failure because adding judgment only creates more self-loathing and it lowers our self-worth. It\u2019s important to know that at any given moment we are doing the best we can at the time.
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\xa0It\u2019s not an excuse not to do better. It is like Maya Angelou says \u2018the first time you didn\u2019t know any better, the second time you know better, so do better.\u2019 We always have the opportunity. There is always another time. The amazing thing about life is that as time keeps going on we are consistently presented with additional opportunities to do better. But, if you look back and only see yourself as a failure you\u2019re not going to have the confidence and self-love you need to actually do better the next time you will just keep repeating the same \u2018failure.\u2019
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It is important that we feel empowered so we don\u2019t give our power away to others or exert our power over others.
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Take a deep dive into how to understand your attachment style and heal your inner child in our three-day virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th\u20137th. Stefanos and I will hold space for both the healthy masculine and feminine. If you can\u2019t join us live, it will be recorded. ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you feel like you\u2019re failing at life and not where you should be?
- Do you have an alcoholic or addict parent and maybe did you have another parent that you were close to \u2014 maybe even a little too close?
- Is it hard for you to break free of toxic relationships or situations even though you know that they are not healthy for you?
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Alex\u2019s Question:
Alex is tired of feeling like a victim and would like clarity on how to move forward in her life.
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Alex\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She walked away from a toxic relationship but keeps in contact with him.
- She is looking for a new job.
- She feels like a failure and has hit rock bottom.
- Her father is an alcoholic and a workaholic.
- Her father didn\u2019t pay much attention to her.
- She lost touch with herself at a young age.
- She feels alone.
- She didn\u2019t find value in therapy.
- She is very close to her mother and doesn\u2019t want to disappoint her.
- She carries around shame.
- She wants to learn to love herself.
- She is love-starved.
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Research codependence and work to break free of her codependent patterns.
- Focus on self-compassion and empowerment.
- Remind herself daily that she is enough and she doesn\u2019t need anyone else\u2019s approval.
- Believe that she can take care of herself and meet her own needs.
- Consider getting a coach or therapist to guide her.
- Reparent herself and speak to herself in a more loving way.
- Investigate her spiritual life more.
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Takeaways:
- Join us for the virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th\u20137th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.
- Look where you might have codependent patterns. Do some online research or check out Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie.
- Make a list of all your perceived failures or mistakes and reframe them. For every single one, I want you to write down at least three things you learn from them to start to see your failures and mistakes from a different perspective.
- Do something that fills your cup. Do something that makes you feel safe and nurtured, something that calms that inner child.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \u2014 Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \u2014 For information on any of my services.
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.