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When we are so paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes or failing, we don\u2019t develop grit. Grit is what gives us confidence. If we don\u2019t have to figure things out on our own we find ourselves paralyzed when making choices as we get older. When parents place too many expectations on their children, their children may grow into adults that don\u2019t know what they truly want. If you are a millennial, take the pressure off of yourself to make the right choice and allow yourself to make a mistake. Failure is how you learn. If you are the boss, manager or parent of a millennial, stop making all of their decisions for them. This episode will be useful for ANYONE at any age. Today\u2019s caller, Lorena, is having a highly-charged emotional reaction to the circumstances in her life. The pressure of living up to parental expectations is clouding her ability to decide what she truly wants. \xa0 \u25cf If you are a millennial and you are having difficulty with your parents, remember you are the child. It is not your responsibility to live up to their expectations. \u25cf If you are the parent of a millennial, it\u2019s time to let them go so they can be their own person. Let them make their own mistakes. Stop telling them who they are so they can discover it for themselves. \u25cf If you relate to having a high-standard of achievement, don\u2019t let achievement to become your identity. Don\u2019t let your self-worth be hooked to your achievements. \xa0 People get tripped up when they start with the end game instead of having a vision of how they would like to feel. Sometimes it is just about taking the first step. Consider where you may be holding yourself prisoner by letting someone else define you? How can you step into freedom by defining who you are and making your own choices? Coaches - Lorena\u2019s belief system was triggering her emotional response. As you can tell by her response, it was greater than what was necessary for what was really going on. Remember, there is what happens, and then what we make it mean. When working with people you want to honor and hold space for their emotions, at the same time ask questions to shift belief systems. Your goal is not to coddle a person but to get them into their insight. \xa0 Consider/Ask Yourself: \u25cf Do you ever feel upset over something you shouldn\u2019t be so emotionally triggered by? \u25cf Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to live up to your own expectations or those of others? \u25cf Have you received a lot of external validation for your achievements, and you constantly crave it? \u25cf Do you feel that you owe someone something, or that you have something to prove? \xa0 Lorena's Question: Lorena has recently decided to start over and go back to school to give herself the opportunity to do something greater. But, she doesn\u2019t know what she wants to do. \xa0 Lorena's Key Insights and Aha\u2019s: \u25cf She wants to have an end goal. \u25cf She excelled at academics and was praised for it. \u25cf She feels she doesn\u2019t meet her parent\u2019s expectations. \u25cf She may be too emotionally upset to reach clarity. \u25cf She doesn\u2019t want to end up resenting her parents. \u25cf She appreciates the difference in her life and her parent\u2019s life. \u25cf She should use the gifts her parents have given her. \xa0 How to Get Over It and On With It: \u25cf She should realize she is the child and she doesn\u2019t have to live her life according to their expectations. \u25cf She should express her gratitude toward her parents, plus let them know she needs to make her own mistakes. \u25cf She needs to stand in her own choices. \u25cf She needs to let go of her guilt in order to be free to explore. \u25cf She should write a letter to her parents and ask them to support her. \u25cf She should listen to her inner voice. \xa0 Assignments and Takeaways: \u25cf If you are having a difficult situation with someone, write a letter to them, even if it is emotionally charged. \u25cf If you experience heightened emotions, take a deep breathe and ask yourself \u201cWhat do I know to be true in this moment?\u201d \u25cf What belief systems are you wearing that just don\u2019t fit anymore, or are they actually someone else\u2019s beliefs? \xa0 Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. \xa0 Resources: Christine Hassler - Book a session to be on the show! Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com 20 Something, 20 Everything, by Christine Hassler