195: Identity Alchemy: What I Learned From My First Big Photo Job
b"\\u201cAt the beginning, I didn\\u2019t even feel worthy to work with a brand like Nike.\\u201d\\n-\\xa0Nick Onken\\n\\nHey, guys, welcome back to ONKEN RADIO (previously NION Radio), the podcast where we explore the body, mind, and soul of the creative entrepreneur. It\\u2019s my goal to help you take your creativity, business, and life to the next level. I\\u2019m so glad you\\u2019re joining me on this journey!\\n\\nIn today\\u2019s episode of ONKEN RADIO, I\\u2019m going to share with you some of my history and a story during the deconstruction phase of my life. I\\u2019ve been working on a lot of identity alchemy projects recently, which pushed me to deconstruct things about my past.\\xa0\\n\\nI\\u2019ve been mulling over what it means to become better versions of ourselves, why there\\u2019s no such thing as a professional misstep, and how knowing who you don\\u2019t want to be can help you on your journey to finding out who you do want to be.\\n\\nI\\u2019ve also been unpacking the impact of my first big job and the struggles I went through afterward. Landing a huge gig can be a great confidence booster, but if that immediate success isn\\u2019t instantly followed by a slew of new and greater successes, your path forward can become daunting. Learning all of these has helped me create the facets of my upcoming Identity Alchemy Program that I\\u2019m excited to share with you soon!\\n\\nIn this episode, I discuss the phases of my career, what identity alchemy is, and how my first big job affected my professional outlook forever \\u2014 without further ado, let\\u2019s get started.\\xa0\\nWhat My First Big Photo Job Taught Me\\nI\\u2019ve been doing photography for over 15 years. I've shot for huge brands like Nike and Coca-Cola, for celebrities like Justin Bieber and Usher, and magazines like Cond\\xe9 Nast, Traveler, and Cosmopolitan. But before all of these, I didn\\u2019t even think I was worthy enough to work with a brand like Nike or really any of these.\\n\\nI used to work as a graphic designer for logos, websites, brochures, and other things for different clients before I started transitioning to photography, shooting weddings, and working with a few friends. It was in 2005 when I got my first huge job for Nike. It was for shooting pro sports players, like Ben Roethlisberger, Brian Urlacher, and Mariano Rivera. I had never done anything like this in my career and my life. After the job was done, I thought to myself that I knew what I wanted to do in my life \\u2014 I wanted to be a commercial photographer.\\xa0\\n\\nSo I've put all my efforts working towards it. However, I spent the next two years without another job at the same level.. During these two years, I wondered, \\u201cAM I even a photographer anymore? Or was this just like a one-hit-wonder?\\u201d\\xa0\\n\\nThese questions perpetuated so much self-doubt within me. Something inside me was telling me to keep going, but I didn\\u2019t know if my dream would ever happen. A part of me felt like I had so much more to give to the world, but the value I was giving was tied to paying my bills, my rent, and other things.\\n\\nHowever, something happened while I was shooting a wedding in a dingy beige high school gym in my hometown of Snohomish, Washington. I had been taking photographs of aunties, special dance moves, and cutting the cake scenes when I took a break and went to the restroom. As I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirror, put my hands on my face, and said to myself, \\u201cWhat am I doing? Why am I here and not being the commercial photographer I wanted to be?\\u2019\\n\\nI'm sure you've had one of those moments when you also ask the same thing. Now that I think about it, I could say that I\\u2019m grateful for that time because it allowed me to feel the pain of not being where I want to be. At that moment, I decided that I would do what it took to create the life I wanted. There should be no excuses. I was going to do everything it needs to get there.\\nWhat Is Identity Alchemy?\\nSimilarly to the moment I just described, there might be events in your life that you feel like you aren't where you\\u2019re supposed to be. However,"