Froot Loops Pizza

Published: March 1, 2021, 6:08 p.m.

If you take I -80 straight to the east … and go 15 hours…  you’ll arrive  t=ao Des Moines, Iowa.  you gotta make a right from the 2nd Aveoff-ramp… and a few blocks later… you’ll arrive at Fong’s.   A storefront amid the 3 story brick buildings. And it’s the home of America’s newest Culinary abomination. Well… let me pause here.  If you were going to add breakfast cereal to a cheese pizza… which would you pick?   Corn flakes for some crunch?  Rice Krispies for some snap crackle pop? Think about your favorite… as I inform you that Fong’s has lit up the internet in pure disgust… with the with Fruit Loops Pizza.   It’s a 16-inch thin crust cheese pie… smothered in mozarella… and topped with a healthy handfdul…. unhealthy handful of fruit loops.  Multicolored sugary circles …that leach dye into the mozarella… making this pizza something close to a steaming rainbow. And before you consider what it tastes like … I have to let you know the fruit loops absorb the pizza grease…. so they’re actually wet warm and soggy. So if your dinner tonight turns out a little disappointing… just remember… it could be worse. For the privilege of eating this revolting combination of fruit loops mozarella and tomato sauce … Fong’s will charge you $20 a pie.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.