On Sharing Our Truths and Other Bad Ideas
When I was recording this podcast, I thought I was going to get a cramp in my hand from all the air quotes I was doing around the word truth. Because it really should be “truth.”
When we start growing and having breakthroughs and learning about ourselves and seeing things in a new light and gaining insights at every turn, it’s only natural to want to share those “truths” with the people around us, especially those we care about the most.
But sharing your “truths” is not always a good idea. In fact, it’s usually a really bad idea. You could even look at it as bullying. Yes, really.
Look, when your conscious mind can only process 50 to 60 bits of information per second out of the millions of bits that are available for us to focus on, do you really think that any other person is going to be focusing on the same 50 to 60 bits as you? Is their “truth” going to look like yours? Uh, no. No chance.
And for you to barge into someone else’s world, into someone else’s experience, into someone else’s truths, and expect them to understand and validate your truths… Well, I hope you can see that that’s a tall order. In most cases, you’re going come across as annoying and needy...at the very least.
When you get the urge to share “truth” with others, take a step back. Chunk up. Look at the big picture, and ask yourself, “For what purpose do I want to share this?” Your intention is critical here. Get in touch with your positive intentions -- to feel connected, to be closer to those you love, etc. Make sure that you approach things from a place of positivity and commonality. And if, in your sharing, you sense defensiveness or get negative vibes from the other person, respect their time and respect your intention by stopping, taking a break, and reevaluating your approach.
Remember, the sucks-for-you meaning of communication is the response you get. The response you get matters. Let that sink in.
At the very least, rethink what you hope to gain from sharing your “truth.” Is whatever you’re hoping to gain realistic? Is it a fair and reasonable to have that expectation of those around you?
Thanks for listening!
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Links from today’s episode:
- Episode 1 -- We learned about the RAS, the Reticular Activating System
- Episode 2 -- We learned that perception is projection
- Episode 23 -- The sucks-for-you meaning of communication
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