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\nDo you know what \u201cemotionally unavailable\u201d actually means?
\nDo you know why it\u2019s so destructive to intimacy – and a man’s life, in general?
\nDo you know how easy it is for a man to say \u2013 even believe! \u2013 he\u2019s both feet into a relationship with only one foot actually in?
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\nIf you\u2019ve never heard of Jayson Gaddis, it\u2019s only because you\u2019ve never thought to actually learn how intimate relationships can work.
\nAs my own relationship coaching practice began to take off a few years ago, people started telling me about this guy named Jayson Gaddis, that I needed to look into him. When I began my relationship with my fiance, herself a marriage and family therapist, she would mention his name and his podcast, the Smart Couple, as a great resource with practical tools for couples.
\nJayson\u2019s name followed me like my shadow. And with good reason.
\nAlthough we\u2019ve never met in person, I decided to invite Jayson onto \u201cMen, This Way\u201d when I learned he was teaching relationship courses to high school students. I mean, in addition to his Relationship School, his own podcast, his therapy and coaching practice, \xa0teaching relationship skills to high school students struck me as both incredibly important \u2013 surely more so than trigonometry or chemistry, since we ALL do relationships but so few of us are astrophysicists or whatever the hell chemistry majors do \u2013 but it also struck me as potentially futile, because at that age, aren\u2019t we far more influenced by what we SEE and EXPERIENCE at home and in the world around us than by what someone teaches us in a classroom for a few hours?
\nStill, Jayson\u2019s been doing this work for a while, he\u2019s successfully married \u2013 by which I don\u2019t just mean still together with his wife, but thriving in relationship with her \u2013 and he\u2019s got two kids. And he\u2019s brutally honest about how actually screwing up past relationships has helped shape him as a powerful healer and leader in this space, for both men and women.
\nSo if there\u2019s anyone who\u2019s going to teach teenagers how to do relationship well? It\u2019s Jayson Gaddis.
\nIn this conversation, Jayson shares a surprising detail about that work, but more so we explore emotional unavailability, as well as practices for men to be more self-aware so we can be more emotionally present. And definitely stay tuned for Jayson\u2019s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of \u201cMen, This Way\u201d \u2026
\nAlright \u2026 Let\u2019s dive \u2026
\nSHOW NOTES
\n7:49 ~ A significant early experience in Jayson Gaddis\u2019 life
\n12:41 ~ Shutting down vulnerability as man
\n13:58 ~ Teaching relationship courses to teenagers
\n17:08 ~ One of the greatest gifts we can offer as a holder of another\u2019s experience
\n20:49 ~ Balancing focusing on outcomes and being present with your loved ones
\n25:05 ~ One offering for creating a truly fulfilling intimate relationship
\n26:57 ~ Being responsible for your partner\u2019s nervous system
\n29:26 ~ Realizing how fear plays out in a relationship, and having one foot in instead of two
\n33:17 ~ Understanding how if one does not show up consistently for a relationship, it will end
\n36:27 ~ Intimacy is a value
\n40:05 ~ The greatest challenge facing men in the world today
\n41:49 ~ \u201c5 KEY TAKEWAYS\u201d FINALE
\n42:26 ~ KEY INSIGHT:
\nYour past relationship pain will follow you unless you deal with it
\n44:00 ~ KEY MAN TO LEARN FROM:
\nDr John D. Martini polymath teacher on money, relationships, fulfillment, and more
\n45:20 ~ KEY RESOURCE (most impactful, inspiring book, movie, podcast):
\nMovie: Free Solo;
\nBook: \u201cBrainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain\u201d by Daniel J. Siegel;
\nBook: \u201cSapiens: A Brief History of Humankind\u201d by Yuval Noah Harari
\nPodcast: How I Built This with Guy Raz
\n46:57 ~ KEY INVESTMENT:
\nFamily trip to Vancouver
\n48:12 ~ KEY PRACTICE (7-day challenge to listeners):