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\nWhen was the last time you watched porn?
\nCould porn be negatively affecting your sexuality?
\nDo you ever turn to, or prefer porn, over an actual partner?
\nHave you ever used porn to get turned on for a partner? (even if just in your imagination?)
\nIf you ejaculate fast with a partner, or struggle to at all, could porn be to blame?
\nHow do you know if quitting would help?
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\nToday I\u2019m talking porn.\xa0
\nI decided to do this episode now after talking to a few close friends of mine who shared that they\u2019ve struggled to kick their porn habit, which became even more pronounced during their solo time in quarantine.
\nI get it. I believe the use porn for self-pleasure may be one of the most difficult issues a man may face in his lifetime, given the ubiquity of it, and given it can satisfy, at least psychologically, our biological need to ejaculate into another human. After all porn has literally become an endless stream of visually appealing sexual partners living in the very palm of our hands, ready to get down at a moment\u2019s notice!
\nWhich can have very real consequences for our relationships with the actual humans in our midst.
\nSo we men need to talk about this.\xa0
\nWomen, if you\u2019re listening, I only ask that you hold what you\u2019re about to hear in this episode with compassion. Just know, this is a really challenging issue for a man, for all kinds of reasons. If you\u2019re with a partner who\u2019s using porn and you don\u2019t like it, it\u2019s helpful to find ways to talk about it, as partners, that aren\u2019t merely directive or shaming or blaming, but that are still honoring of your experience, too. I know, so many women are negatively affected by their partner\u2019s use of porn \u2026 and so often that partner won\u2019t even acknowledge it.
\nIf porn is a real problem in your relationship, I encourage you to get support, whether from a coach, or therapist, even someone who really specializes in this.\xa0
\nJust know this: it doesn\u2019t have to be diagnosed as an \u201caddiction\u201d for it to nonetheless be harmful to the relationship.
\nIt\u2019s important to me that you know I do not promote sexual shaming in any way, and I am not anti-porn. In this episode, I\u2019m simply going to invite you to explore how online pornography might affect the experience and expression of your sexuality, and impact your relationship.\xa0
\nBecause for a time, in my late 30s and early 40s, it sure fucked up my sexuality, so to speak, and negatively affected my intimate relationships with women.
\nBack in 2014 I wrote a few blogs about my personal experience with pornography that were both wildly popular, and also controversial. Read by millions of people all over the world, republished on other blog sites and shared across social media, while many men AND women could relate to my experience, whether they themselves were or had experienced some form of negative affects of using porn, or whether they had a partner who was using porn and it caused problems in the relationship. Still, not everyone agreed with my conclusions that porn was bad for a man\u2019s sexual health.\xa0
\nIn this episode, I\u2019m gonna share my experience with what I\u2019ll call a mild porn addiction, including what happened to my body, that scared the living shit out of me, which was why I quit using porn, and why I generally think you should, too. I\u2019ll share 6 reasons why I believe men should quit porn, and I\u2019ll also share 5 warning signs that, if you\u2019re experiencing any of them, you should seriously consider giving up using porn, because it ain\u2019t serving you.
\nOf course, who am I to tell another man what he should or shouldn\u2019t think or do, so in the end this is obviously your call to make.
\nI\u2019m a heterosexual man, so I speak to my experience with porn through a male heterosexual filter. If you\u2019re a woman, or don\u2019t see through my particular filter, well, I\u2019ve no doubt this will be a profound episode for you just the same,