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\nDo you genuinely value open communication in relationship, particularly around sex and attractions?
\nOr, like most people, are there some things you really don\u2019t want to hear?
\nDo you get why knowing the difference between the stories your brain tells you, and the sensations your body tells you, is essential for living (and loving) well?
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\nIan Ferguson is the no-so-behind the scenes husband and partner to renowned somatic sexologist Miss Jaiya, who created (or perhaps discoverer) of the 5 Erotic Blueprints.
\nI first met Ian at a sexuality symposium in Los Angeles where both Jaiya and I were speaking on stage. I have no idea if Jaiya remembered what my presentation, but I\u2019ll never forget hers.
\nWhen she was on stage, with Ian, I watched her lie down on a massage table, and then Ian proceeded to do something with his hands, holding and waving them above her body almost as if he held a Harry Potter wand. He didn\u2019t physically touch her at all \u2026 and within a minute Jaiya\u2019s body started undulating and moaning upwards towards his magic wand hands, clearly riding a strong wave of orgasmic bliss. And she wasn\u2019t faking it \u2026 and I do realize I\u2019m a man which means what the hell do I know whether a woman is really faking it or now \u2026 but anyway that\u2019s not the point!\xa0
\nThe point is, both Silvy and I have become fascinated by Jaiya and Ian\u2019s work with the 5 Erotic Blueprints. They\u2019ve actually helped Silvy and I bridge a few differences in the ways we both approach sex, which has helped us avoid feelings of shame or rejection and instead just create more laughter and understanding, and deeper connection.
\nI wanted to bring Ian on to Men, This Way, because he\u2019s a man who lived monogamously throughout his 20s and 30s, and now lives in an open relationship with Jaiya. They have a young son, and are doing beautiful work in the world together, serving to eliminate sexual shame and celebrate self-expression, all built on the foundation of healthy boundaries and explicit consent.
\nAlthough we don\u2019t really go into the 5 Erotic Blueprints in this episode, we do talk about Ian\u2019s evolution in intimacy, some of the challenges of an open relationship, and some of the basic skills required for having a satisfying sexual intimacy, whether you\u2019re monogamous or polyamorous, it\u2019s all the same, really.\xa0\xa0\xa0
\nYou can actually take their Erotic Blueprint Quiz @ www.eroticbreakthrough.com/menthisway
\nThis episode is a little longer than most, because Ian walks us through a specific, but very simple, breath practice at the very end, and we do a short meditation with this practice that I think you\u2019ll enjoy, and be challenged by.
\nSo definitely stay tuned for Ian\u2019s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way \u2026
\nAlright \u2026
\nLet\u2019s dive \u2026
\nSHOW NOTES
\n11:50 ~ Significant events in Ian\u2019s early life
\n17:09 ~ Men\u2019s fear of being able to pleasure their partners
\n23:22 ~ The power of presence in sexual encounters
\n26:39 ~ The benefits of real consent and respecting our partners\u2019 boundaries
\n29:32 ~ Ian\u2019s entrance into polyamorous relationships
\n36:41 ~ Advice for those interested in pursuing open relationships and polyamory
\n40:46 ~ Why the idea that \u201cThings should just work\u201d is bullshit
\n47:00 ~ What men really need to know to create a truly fulfilling, intimate relationship
\n50:24 ~ The dangers of alcohol in relationships and their formation
\n51:47 ~ The biggest challenge facing men in the world today
\n56:27 ~ \u201c5 KEY TAKEWAYS\u201d FINALE
\n56:33 ~ KEY INSIGHT: Taking the stories you tell yourself and observe them, then start to tell the story you want to tell
\n57:42 ~ KEY MAN TO LEARN FROM: Satyen Raja (Founder of Accelerated Evolution Academy)
\n59:11 ~ KEY RESOURCE (most impactful, inspiring book, movie,