27. Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)
b'
\\nWhy is intimate relationship uniquely so challenging?\\xa0
\\nDo you still think relationship should just be easy, and flow effortlessly?
\\nWhat does it actually look like to choose (or reject) your intimate partner everyday?
\\n
\\nIn this episode, I dive into my\\xa0 blog, Choose Her Everyday (or Leave Her), the blog that back in 2015 changed everything for me, and millions of people around the world.\\xa0
\\nThat blog has been read by 30 million plus people, and counting \\u2026 in every country except North Korea, as far as I can tell \\u2026 to this day, I still get messages from people who tell me that blog changed how they see intimate relationship. Relationships, families even, have been saved because of that article \\u2026 relationships have also ended because of it \\u2026 because either one partner finally realized they weren\\u2019t ever going to be truly chosen by their partner, or the other got deeply clear they had no intention of stepping up and actively choosing their partner \\u2026 and so they discovered it was best to end the relationship altogether.\\xa0
\\nIn my work with couples – I\\u2019m both a Life Coach, and a Relationship Coach, and I work with individual men, and women, and I also work with couples, of all sexual orientations \\u2013 and when I work with couples, specifically, I don\\u2019t go into the work with an agenda of trying to keep them together. I love it when a couple makes even small shifts in the way they show up, when they begin to learn the art of masculine and feminine intimacy, for example, and stop competing to be right over the facts, or details, and instead learn to connect first, no matter the disagreement over details, and suddenly their relationship takes on a more effortless flow to it they didn\\u2019t even imagine possible just a few days or weeks before. But I also don\\u2019t believe a couple should stay together if even one partner isn\\u2019t willing to really lean in and do the often uncomfortable work of self-confrontation it essentially ALWAYS requires to create a thriving relationship.\\xa0
\\nMy parents divorced when I was 4 \\u2026 and as painful as it was \\u2026 THANK GOD they did! In retrospect, I don\\u2019t believe that between them they had the capacity – or inclination – to really learn and grow by facing each their own unique limitations to loving, and their lack of skillful communication. Thank god they only subjected me to 4 years of relationship dysfunction and not 18 years!
\\nI wrote Choose Her Everyday or Leave Her, 5 or 6 years after the most important relationship in my life, at least until then, ended. That relationship was emotionally intense, abusive, chaotic \\u2026 a lot like how I remember my parents\\u2019 relationship in those first 4 years of my life.\\xa0
\\nI actually write more about that heart-wrneching experience in my book, “Tell The Truth, Let The Peace Fall Where It May“
\\n\\xa0\\u2026 which you can find on Amazon.
\\nI didn\\u2019t know the effect it would have on people. The week it went viral in the summer of 2015 \\u2013 which by the way, was about 3 months AFTER I actually wrote and published it \\u2013 I felt like I owned Facebook. It was everywhere. It even played a fascinating role in bringing Lady Silvy to me, whom I met the same week it went viral. But that story for another time.
\\nIn this episode, I revisit this epic blog that still seems to sing a resonant chord in the heart of humanity.
\\nDefinitely stay tuned for my 3 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way \\u2026\\xa0
\\nAlright \\u2026\\xa0
\\nLet\\u2019s dive \\u2026
\\nSHOW NOTES
\\n