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The floor was alive this evening as the instructor finished assisting a couple of the older youth in his Judo class. Calling a stop to the moderate level throwing randori (sparing practice), he noticed from the corner of his eye two of the younger ones in what seemed a death grip, white knuckle match, and neither one was stopping after the whistle.

The experienced instructor knew this scene all too well and rush over immediately breaking the two up. Red faced the two boys looked as though they were ready to go at it again, as he held each one by the shoulder and knelt between them.

\u201cPREVENTION is the first step in surviving a conflict, \u201c he began. \u201cWhen did this start?\u201d Tommy looked like he would cry as he said, \u201cJojo wouldn\u2019t stop and\u2026\u201d Jojo jumped in, \u201cNa ah Tommy\u2026\u201d The instructor broke in, \u201cThat\u2019s not what I asked.\u201d Both boys looked into his eyes. \u201cI said, when did this start?\u201d

Through a carefully guided conversation and questions their experienced instructor brought out their continuing feud that had started about a week before. Further investigation found that Tommy\u2019s dog had died last week, and he was upset, really upset about it.

Jojo had actually been Tommy\u2019s first encounter at school and had asked him what was wrong. Tommy lashed out at Jojo to cover his embarrassment at being found out. No matter what Jojo said, it only made Tommy more upset, and it came up in today\u2019s randori.

After Tommy apologized, Jojo told him he was sorry that his dog had died, and they shook hands and gave each other the traditional Judo hug with backslaps so loud everyone in the school chuckled.

Tommy and Jojo have a story that is all too familiar in many of our lives. PREVENTION of conflict is best handled at the first sign of conflict, before further damage is done.

We can PREVENT the escalation of conflict by being proactive, and not avoiding conflict when it first starts. Think about it, long before conflict grows into a \u201cdeath grip, white knuckle death match it\u2019s just a word, glance or thought.

Most people when asked say they don\u2019t like conflict, avoid conflict, and ignore conflict. How is that really working for them? In my experience not well. PREVENTION of conflict\u2019s ever increasing nature stops misunderstandings, that turn into battles, that turn into wars. PREVENT\u2026.

Allen Hughes Life Defense Coach

#lifedefense #prevent #allenhughes