21: Friendship - The Origin Story

Published: June 15, 2020, 9 a.m.

In this episode, Tricia and Rob answer the frequently asked question: “How did you two, as a brother and sister, become friends?”

  1. Our parents encouraged our individual gifting: “What’s important to one of us is important to all of us.”
  2. No name-calling. “We were allowed to be angry and work it out, but not allowed to be mean, call names, or physically hurt each other.” (Except that epic battle over the remote control.)
  3. Our family had a lot of fun and laughter.  We didn’t have to visit friends’ homes to have a good time together; there was plenty of fun and good times to be enjoyed at home, just the four of us.
  4. Laughter is bonding.  “The people with whom you experience strong emotion with are the ones you’ll return to in crisis, and laughter is a strong emotion.” –Tricia
  5. We had fun at home: sometimes a spontaneous game of Tag after dinner, or “the evening we were playing cards and had to show up in costumes made from whatever we could find in our own closets.”
  6. Fun, good conversations, and memories can be made when you have a “change of pace and change of place.”

During their middle school years, a crisis and the death of their dad’s brother caused them to realize that they must make a conscious decision to be friends, to love each other and to choose each other. Life only offers one shot at loving and prioritizing the people closest to you. They share a “benchmark experience” that happened one day in the high school lunch room, forever sealing the deal on their friendship.

“The person with the power has the ability to make the person with less power feel accepted and safe.” –Tricia 

“This truth is relevant within a family, and its relevance extends to the experience of many Americans in our daily current events. The dynamic changes when the person or people with the power say to those with less or no power, “I choose YOU.  I will not allow you to face this alone.  I cannot allow you to feel rejected and dejected.  Not. On. My. Watch.” - Tricia

“The sign of a professional: one who sits down in front of the blank page regardless of whether they feel like it or whether their energy is just right. They sit down anyway and go to work on their contribution to the world.” –Rob, on writing and podcasting