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The Aldrins | "32 Years"
For years after they left Earth, James confessed that he had suppressed all memories of his old life. But halfway through the Aldrins' lifespan, an event triggered a breakdown and James was hit with an emotional and existential crisis that sent him into a heavy depression. After some time in therapy, he ended up writing his most personal song, reflecting on his life and the loss of his mother.
Lyrics:
Seven Years everything's a blurSeven Years Nothing is for sureNine Years Nine Years (Nine Years Nine Years)Empty rooms I presume It's my fault Dug this tombIt's my fault! Caused your pain! He walked out but I'm to blame!Twelve years! And I never see you, When I do we never talk much like we used toThirteen! I never told you spent days in the streets with no place to go toFourteen! Ate from the trash for the first time! Haven't got a dimeFifteen! Got caught stealing! Made a break and got away before they caught me concealing!Sixteen years! Here I stand with blood on my face so you'll call me a manUnderstand, I'm tryna make it up to you with nine years of guilt I'm unsure what to doBut by Seventeen I'm An upstanding citizen Time to clean up the whole mess we been livin' in Found my crew Year eighteen I know what to do and I'ma make you proud of meThe last thing I said on the last time I saw you, "This is my shot and then I'll take care of you."The last thing I saw on your face as I left was a nervous smile and a little distressWipe off the sweat of my palms as the car pulls up 21 years; I've had enoughTime to make it right for the very first time to bring light to your eyes like before I was nineLittle did I know I wouldn't see you again! Little did I know that our time would end!Little did I know that I'm not coming home! Little did I know when I left you alone!I wish that I could see you one last time just to tell you that I'm sorry that I ruined our livesI wish that I could tell you it'll be okay, that I'm here till the end, that I'm here to stay'Cause back in the day you might've heard me say that I'd meet you in heaven on those golden streetsBack in the day you might've heard me say that you're up in the stars lookin down on meBut I'm up in the stars and all I can see is blackness and void and nothing betweenI hate being awake and I just wanna sleep just to see you again in my head when I dreamI hate all the years that I wasted to keep you from ever finding out all the times when I'd weepAnd I hate the regret that runs through my head and I hate all the things that we left unsaidI hate that I struggle to recall what you look like, 32 years and there's tears in my eyesI hate that I am up in the sky as I cry out to God but I don't get a signI hate that I can't say I love you one last time and wish you a final goodbye
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