Testosterone Triumphs
b'I was a little concerned after last week\'s podcast in which I revealed Big Louie\'s All Purpose Answer to the Three Deadly Questions all women ask, because it gave guys a huge advantage. I was afraid I\'d find my Lady Wonder Wench carefully reading our wedding license looking for loopholes. As smart as she is, I don\'t think even my Lady Wonder Wench has really come to grips with how completely basic Louie Louie Generation guys are. I doesn\'t matter what we\'re doing...giving a presidential press conference...batting in the last of the ninth, bases loaded, your team three runs down seventh game of the world series...landing an airliner with 400 people aboard during a hurricane and one engine on fire...there\'s a constant thought going around in our heads... Me want food. Me see woman with food. Me want woman too. It\'s our testosterone that does this to us. \\n\\tI explained about testosterone on page 69 in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. I quote, "A guy\'s brain is swimming in a sea of testosterone, which gives him a deep voice, a beard, and a hand just the right size for using a TV remote. Now please remember that testosterone is a preservative. And what does a preservative do? It keeps meat and stuff from growing old and gnarly. And of course growing is another word for maturing. So naturally a brain swimming in testosterone simply cannot mature. It\'s not our fault. We\'re only guys." It doesn\'t matter how much trouble we know we\'re going to cause. \\n\\tLook at Kenny Rodgers... perfectly beautiful wife, singing success...more money than he can spend...soft lovely voice on his phone one day and ZAP! The testosterone hits. JFK and Bill Clinton...in the White House for God\'s sake. Your testosterone hits, and before you know it the mirrors are all fogged up, the wallpaper has scratches in it, your dental caps are all over the floor, the bed is in splinters, and your mustache has come off. But it\'s not your fault. It\'s the testosterone.'